Goodwill Industries of Central Florida..........

I am going to start off this blog as saying that I am not bitter......you want to know why?  It's because they aren't worth my time to be bitter.....this organization is crap.......they don't want strong people to help them become the finest organization in the world.......they want to treat good (and I do mean good) employees with disregard and like garbage under the shoe.....I have had bad jobs......god knows I have......hell one job I paid up to $20,000 just to keep the job......that's a whole another story.......but Goodwill Of Central Florida should be ashamed.......they are nothing ....... horrible.......and that is a shame........so I am going to put up this blog and get it started with my diary......good reading for anyone who is considering a job with this organization and I do wish you luck and I hope the way I was discarded will not happen to any of you......

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December 28, 2011 – Wonderful when you want to have a nervous breakdown just do it in front of the DM.  So yesterday Linda S. seemed to want to give me a lecture on something I did.  Which was a kissing of two fingers, like saying see you later, I love ya.  That’s the Italian in me.  She took it like “kiss my ass” because of an incident that went the wrong way.  That incident involved a joke with several people.  Starting this job it hurt.  It was a lot more physical demand on this job that I am well out of practice.  I have been in great pain.  And the joke among my coworkers was her ass must hurt if she is walking crooked.  I said, “my ass does hurt and I am going to have my husband kiss my ass”.  Nella thought I was telling her to “kiss my ass” and took offense.  So I got a verbal warning not to do that again.  Nella is such a sweetie that I don’t ever want to do wrong by her, so I do owe her an apology.  Well I am worried now that my actions are taken the wrong way, so I know I wasn’t myself and Clara comes in and see’s that.  I was called into the office.  I swear I thought she was there to let me go.  I was literally scared, and I broke down.  I am not out to make friends with these people.  I just want to get the hang of this job and do it well.  I do my best and believe me I feel it in every muscle.  But I don’t know why I can’t fit in.  I have a personality that is large I do admit that.  I listen to them explaining to me that they don’t know how to multitask.  I see the things that can improve and the things I would like to take charge of in order to release those demands from the senior staff.  But I don’t know how I can get them to do it.  They are set in their ways around here.  But the talk with Clara did help.  I can see that I have to be me.  I know my strengths and my weaknesses.  I can delegate and not have to try to do everything by myself.  I am a strong manager.  I would love to have my own store in about a year.  I just want to know why I feel that this is doomed for me.  Can I see the future that no one will get me and understand that I can get the things done and I am a good person to have on their team?  I just have to be a regular person and bring out their regular person persona.  The talk or the breakdown did help me, it gave me a confidence that I can get it done with the right people around me.

February 16, 2012 – Well my management style is I like to know where everyone is at and what they are doing.  Especially when I have CSW’s and others doing the jobs I assign them to do.  I am constantly asking where they are, because if I don’t see them on their jobs then I want to know what they are doing, because sometimes if you don’t see them then they do need something to do.  So I commented while I was working the donation door “where is Gary now”.  Well he was in the dumpster area and heard me asking where he was.  He totally went off, he said “how come you always want to know where I am.  Just because I am not in your eyesight doesn’t mean I am off doing something I am not supposed to do and so on and so on”.  But he didn’t do it in a nice fashion.  He ripped right into me.  And I told him that I ask where everyone is when they aren’t doing what I need to be done. He shouldn’t take offense and if he does then “I am sorry” but it’s a part of me to know where people are at, just one of those things.  Then I have Linda S. come to me and say that Gary told her he needs his alcohol to function and that he was an alcoholic.  Great so I go looking around the dumpster to find out why Gary spends so much time in that area.  I don’t find anything.  Then Denise tells me that Gary leaves on his breaks and lunch to get him something to drink to keep up working.  So that is something I will mention to Sherry tomorrow.  Why do people have to tell me something on a person that doesn’t like me?  It makes it uncomfortable.

February 17, 2012 – Well I had new hire orientation on the 15^th and the thing I really wanted to look into is the college thing, where Goodwill would pay for my courses.  I was a really excited about that program.  Yet asking Sherry about it took the air out of my balloon.  Because she said that if I go into that program Goodwill will do their part and pay for it until the very end, near the end of my college years Goodwill will find a reason to fire me so I would end up paying them all back for the tuition.  Now that sucked to me.  Really it did, because I wonder if it’s true and I really wanted to look into it and I won’t now.  Then I asked her some questions about becoming a manager with the company, because I had heard a rumor that Kathy wanted to step down from her position.  And Sherry said Goodwill will never let you step down.  Once you accept the position of management then that is the last step.  They will never allow you to go back to be an assistant manager or step down.  They will fire you.  Not nice things were said about the company I am working for.  She definitely told me that if I really wanted to do the college thing, and then ask who got all the way through it and Goodwill paid for it and there is probably no one they came name.  Very interesting information and I will have to ask Kathy about the info I got. 

February 18, 2012 – Gary approaches me and tells me to watch out for Linda S., because she was coming up with a plan to get rid of me.  And this is after he apologizes for the incident about when I wanted to know where he was at.  So I asked Linda S. if she had said that.  She of course said no, and whoever told me that was crazy.  It’s a never ending theme around here where people approach me and tell me that these coworkers are after me.  Alicia had even chased me down in the parking lot and told me that my coworkers hated me and wanted me out.  I have no idea what is going on.  But I am so trying to just do the job.  I am so trying to bring my voice down some.  I am trying to include them in the problems I face as a manager and what they expect from me with the discussions I have with them.  I know who to not ask to do something special and who to ask to do things for me.  I get compliments that I can get the coworkers around me to work when the others don’t use them and delegate.  I can make them laugh and smile while they are doing their jobs.  But then I make a misstep in their eyes and I have people coming to me saying I am the most hated person in this place.  It’s an up and down place.  It’s like you walk in and wonder if it’s going to be a good day or a bad day.  It’s stressful.

February 23, 2012 – I should never be on the floor.  I don’t like watching the front end.  They don’t do much but talk and talk.  Yet they don’t know how to talk and walk at the same time.  I read the book “Zap” and I guess I wanted the opportunity to watch the front end, so I kept back pulling clothes and watched.  But what I saw didn’t help me what so ever.  I watched Sandy discussing something with a customer and whispering about how the manager is doing it this way and that way and it’s all her fault for this and that.  The customer of course then isn’t happy with the new manager and the way things have changed.  Sherry walks up and pretty much does the same thing and ends up giving the customer what she wants to smooth the sting that things have changed and they won’t be getting their way all the time now.  I am just amazed I think that they can throw Kathy under the bus with customers.  It doesn’t warm up customers to know things change when someone else comes into the picture.  The customer of course says she would like to speak to Kathy and straighten her out on a few things.  It’s crazy how they do that.  I have seen a few things like Margie not paying attention when she rings up things.  I am wondering if she is ringing up everything, or giving discounts that shouldn’t be given and so on and so on.  Only suspect though right now have no proof of anything.  She seems to like to whisper among the customers and then turn to the register to hit a discount button or to skip over something.  I remember the “Daphne Incident”.  This isn’t going to end up good.  The whole thing is the staff needs to stop throwing Kathy under the bus with the customers.  It’s a horrible thing to watch and I do feel sorry for her and she does not know what is going on.

February 24, 2012 – Going into work and going to have to talk to Kathy about transferring me to the Kissimmee.  I don’t feel comfortable at this store.  Between the coworkers and the Assistant manager I don’t know if I am coming or going around here.  You have the coworkers hating me half the time.  Linda S. is always complaining she can’t get a Sunday off to go to church and she hates this location and the rules always changing and so on and so on.  You have Sherry under minding Kathy and the changes she wants to make for the better and condescending her every move.  It’s a mess around here.  Staff is feeling like Kathy is an office manager and so on and so on.  I hate to watch.  I don’t have the grips about Kathy because I am still fairly new and new to the business so I can ride a change and such easier because I never knew the old ways.  This store doesn’t know how to change.  All they have is complaints and misery.  I want to be able to tell Kathy that she is in a uphill battle but I want a transfer.  Not going to be easy.  Good luck to me.

February 26, 2012 – Meeting day.  Wonderful meeting.  I really hope for Kathy sake this team listened and steps it up.  I want it so much for Kathy as much as I want it for me.  It will make like so much easier.  I want to feel like a team and not the front versus the back.  Or the whole store against me.  It’s one of those perfect meetings that you hope for the best but then when it’s over you hear all the complaining on this and that.  Please please let these people turn their ways around.  This could be a great store if only, and the if only depends on EVERYONE.

March 17, 2012 – I wanted to ask Sherry if my meeting hours were going to go in for this paycheck because I didn’t see the hours had been emailed from April yet.  Plus Kathy had said since I would be missing 6 hours I could come in and do them on Sunday.  Sherry said “that it against policy for me to work a scheduled day off.  Plus if Tammi wasn’t allowed to make up hours I shouldn’t be allowed to.    Tammi had called in sick and Kathy wouldn’t allow her to make up hours.  So to make up the 6 hours I would be missing then Sherry was going to put in 6 personal hours for me.  I told her I had no personal hours.  But she stated that I had completed my 90 days and would have personal time.  I told her that I had Kathy’s permission to come in on Sunday and do the 6 hours already.  Sherry said that Kathy was breaking policy and no one is to work on a scheduled day off.  If Tammi wasn’t allowed then no one should be able to.  It was such a big deal that I called Kathy on the matter and I was assured that I could still come in on Sunday and she would be there to do the payroll. 

March 18, 2012 – Dealing with the paperwork for the “incident” I was making the “cover letter” – Sherry walks in and asks, “when so fancy”.  She commented she never had done a cover letter and Kathy and I seem to become so “fancy” now.  I told her that was how Kathy trained me and wants.  She left the room. 

I had asked Sherry about being in the room with me when I talked to Gary about the incident.  And she said “she didn’t have time”, so since Sandi was there in the room counting her register I used her as the second person in the room with me.  I wanted to get Gary’s story and a written statement from him.  Plus I wanted to make it clear on what I thought went wrong in the situation.  So we went into what was seen by Gary and his actions and so on and so on.  I was talking about what I think we did wrong in the situation.  I told him that “when an incident happens and a manager is called I believe that one of the team members should stay with the incident until a manager comes and takes over the situation.  Nella or he should have been there in control till a manager comes to take over.  Gary was very very defensive at this point asking “am I going to be fired for that”, I told him right then that I think he being defensive and even Sandy turned around and said, Gary calm down.  I again told him this was not putting blame, this was my observation on what can be done better, and unless he was standing there watching the little girl jumping on the glass and didn’t stop her why would he be fired.  If I should know that he did see the whole thing he can tell me.  He said he didn’t and went into the story of the actions that he did see and what he did that day.  Again it was defensive to me.  And again I had to tell him that he wasn’t going to be fired if that is the truth and so on and so on.  But I don’t think that went well because he still believed that I was stating that he would be fired for not being present till a manager got there to take over.  Because all the rest of the day he kept making snide comments about how this was his last day, let me help you because it was my last day, or so on and so on.  It upset me and I just didn’t know what else to do.  He made comments to Linda S. and others about the situation and made it even a more big deal with others.

March 22, 2012 – Linda S. pulled me to the side today to speak to me about the sexual harassment toward Gary and how it needs to stop before he uses it against Denise, Blanca, and myself since I am usually laughing and not correcting them.  She felt offended when Blanca did her booty dance on her day off, and how even Kathy had nothing to say about it.  She thinks even if Gary seems fine with it and joins in on the talk, he will eventually use it when he is mad.  And if I was a manager I should speak to Blanca and Denise about it and make them stop it.  That way Gary wouldn’t have ammunition on them.  Especially if he gets mad at me he may target them as payback.  So she told me as some advice to speak to the girls and get them to stop it.  I couldn’t do anything about the booty dance but it was ridiculous to watch and something that shouldn’t have been done.  So I told her I would speak to them and she was right.  It wouldn’t be a good idea to continue with it.  It may be fun and games now but it could be bad if it continued.  CSW Shermiya  came to work with a T-shirt on with a quotation on the shirt that read “skilled in every position” and Sherry didn’t notice it, because she told me “if Kathy doesn’t care about T-shirts then she doesn’t care anymore neither.  I guess from what she said Kathy didn’t back her up with a customer when it came to a blouse or T-shirt then she didn’t care about the rules anymore neither.  But when I noticed the quote on the shirt I called Kathy to confirm if I should send the CSW home to change.  Kathy said “yes” but the CSW bought a shirt to put over the one she had on.

March 23, 2012 -  Denise gets a personal phone call from her boyfriend and I call her to the phone.  Sherry comes into the office to tell me I have to tell Denise that she is getting to many phone calls and they need to stop.  I called Sherry back to the office when she is leaving to ask her to come with me to tell Denise that.  And having 5 kids I didn’t figure it would be wrong.  Sherry said that we take messages and give it to the employee and they call back on their own time.  Unless the caller says it’s an emergency.  I said okay.  That just means Sherry doesn’t want to come with me to talk to Denise.  And I went to do it.  But I feel like Sherry does it quite often.  When someone does something she tells me to tell them the right way and this and that.  But it’s awkward sometimes….because it makes me the bad guy a lot more often then I like.  I feel like each manager should enforce what they need to and stop making me do it.  And Sherry does it too often.  Denise’s thing wasn’t the first time and it was the easiest to handle.  But other times it just makes the staff think I am the only one who tells them they do something wrong, while Sherry babies them I get the pleasure of be the enforcer of the rules, when most of the time it’s her sending me to tell them or correct them. 

March 24, 2012 – Well I shouldn’t have gone to work today that is for sure.  I was called into the office where Sherry, Kathy, and Linda S. were all there.  Kathy wanted to know about the incident that happened the day before.  I asked “what incident” and she said the incident with the comment to the front end.  I explained that “Linda S. called me to the cubicle she was working and told me that the front end needed to do their jobs and put up the racks.  If she had a quota then she needs the racks in order to make that quota or she was going to call corporate office and tell them why she wasn’t making the quota.  So I went up front and told Margie what the processors said.  Boy did that get them to put up the rack quickly.  At least Tammi did.  But when I told them that I also owed Linda S. and apology because not wanting to throw out names I didn’t think there was only one processor and of course they would know who said it.  So I went to Linda S. and told her that and she may take some heat from the front end.  She said no she would stand by what she said, because even with Sherry up there all they do is stand around and talk instead of putting the racks up and it seems like I am the only one that can get them to do any work.  So I went outside to get some air and when I came back in I asked Dorothy is she was still complaining and she said “yes”.  I then went back to the office.  Linda S. even came back to the office to offer me a tea.  She bought it for me and gave it to me with a thank you for helping her.  She told me that she was going to go ahead and have a meeting with Kathy and have Sherry and I there to tell Kathy that if the front end can’t do their jobs then they can’t be expected to have a quota.  So everything was good again.  Now I am in the office defending myself and Linda S. is saying she never said those things to me.  It became a heated discussion.  Back and forth accusations, she mentions I am the one that starts all the gossip in the back and that she doesn’t want to be in this store if I am in the position of 3^rd key in this store.  She brings pricing things or hiding things for employees, and I told her are you kidding you do it all the time.  So Blanca’s cage is brought up.  This cage arrived in donations and Blanca wanted to buy it.  She even told Kathy and Sherry she wanted it.  That cage was not hidden in the back room.  It’s just the wares people don’t price the big things right away sometimes.  And even one of those days that the cage was back there Blanca was off and the cage still didn’t make it on the floor.  Well when Blanca came in she said she still wanted it and if I could price it and put it out onto the floor she would buy it on her lunch break.  She borrowed the money from Elaine and others I think and I priced it and put it out on the floor.  Linda S. mentioned I shouldn’t be calling Kathy when she is off telling her this or that, Kathy defended me when she said I could call her anytime and it was my job to let her know things or ask questions.

Kathy also asked me to go to a class on handling how to talk and deal with employees, and she also asked me to use “could you” instead of saying “can you do this for me” or “I need you to do this”, so I am going to try so hard.  I did try “would you” and there has been incidences where they said “no I will not”, but it was a joke (I hope) because they did get it done. 

Discussion is over with.  And Blanca comes in not knowing about the discussion.  She makes a comment to Linda S. did she purchase the items she had hidden for herself.  I overhear that and ask Blanca about it.  She said Linda had a couple of things hidden to purchase later.  Now isn’t that calling the kettle black?  Then while I was covering Tammi’s lunch I find out that Linda S. took Blanca outside to ask her if I said anything to her.  Blanca said “no” and “why”.  Then she came to me and asked me why Linda took her outside to ask her that.  Got to wonder who starts what right.  Especially while in the heated discussion Kathy mentioned she can get sound on the cameras.  So why take Blanca outside for the questions, because there is sound.  Great work Linda.  Blanca even mentioned to me how Gary approached her and told her that “everyone hates her and she better not trust anyone”.  Wow really sounds like something he tells me.  Like today on the day of all this happening he approaches me and wants to say something to me and I don’t want to hear it.  Here we go again.  Warnings and accusations and heat seeking missiles coming my way, do you know what I honestly felt.  I feel totally bullied in this work space.  I want to go to another location to test my skills and to see if it’s me or not.  I don’t believe it’s me but these people around me that I might as well wear a T-shirt with a target on my back.  I have a totally different personality.  I have a silly humor.  And I see that people have to get used to me.  But yet they don’t want to and fight me every which way.  They make me question my ability and question my sanity.  Yet what they accuse me of they are the biggest 2 faced human beings I have meet in a long time.  And they use me as their target practice.  The accusations they bring my way they do every single day can’t wait for the next day of work.  Anyway I left Kathy a note about this.

March 26, 2012 – According to the managers meeting we had on the 24^th we are to check their racks when we count for hanging order.  Linda S. did not do her rack right.  Sherry was outside for lunch.  After asking Denise to go over it with me, (I am still learning too), I went outside to confirm with Sherry what we are to do if the hanging order wasn’t right.  She thought the same thing, we take it back and explain the hanging order, and I told her I needed her to stand beside me to explain that to Linda.  So I rolled it back to wait for Sherry to come back from lunch.  Linda S. must have understood why it was rolled back because she was redoing the hanging order with Denise’s help.  Then Denise rolls it back to me to go over it.  So Sherry and I presented a united front when I went to talk to Linda S. about the order and she had other categories she wanted to know about and Sherry added it onto the end of the list, till Kathy gets those categories added into the list.  Besides that one road bump I got over, I had to tell Margie that when she wanted to do a dressing room check I would like her to announce it over the speaker, “6:00 dressing room check”, so I can know I have to go behind her to check the dressing room.  It worked so well.  I can’t believe it, had to tell her though that the rack that was sitting up there for a few hours needed to be completed to.  But everything else seemed to be fine today.

March 27, 2012 – Today was like walking into the twilight zone.  I am trying to learn the rack while Nella is totally confused.  Denise is saying that a shirt that is in solids and has designs is still supposed to be in solids.  It depends if the one solid color is throughout the shirt and it’s only a little design.  Where I thought they should be in multicolor and not in solids.  Now to make matters worse Sherry says, “when she goes to those training meetings she is going to ask about the rack situation to see if it’s policy.”  I told her, “I would think it’s the manager’s decision and trying to make our lives easier”.  She said, “I don’t think so.  Then I go back there and where Gary had put school manuals that have people’s names and addresses on them in the salvage wares.  I had put them out of Dorothy’s way because she would have tripped over them bringing in a donation, and I went on break and was going to take care of them when I got back, putting them in the dumpster.  But Sherry told Gary to put them in Salvage wares, Gary knows better I would think……or I am wrong and they don’t go in the dumpster if they have the names of the individual and addresses.  Sherry said, “If they are dumb enough to donate something with their names on it then it’s out there now.”  Another thing that is confusing me is…..why the hell is incoming text going right into salvage.  I watched Sherry dumping bags right into salvage text.  That’s not right, I did that once and got told that is the carnal rule never to do that.  I get that she made the comment not to take long sleeves or jackets in, but she was dumping bags of incoming donations into the salvage text.  And they are definitely not all long sleeves or jackets.  They aren’t even nasty clothes….I even asked her if that tag should have read incoming text and she said no.  I just want to know how when I walk in we already have three crates as salvage text.  CONFUSING…….so I just stayed on the floor and did busy work today.  I did call Kathy and tell her and ask her if that was an order to put donations into salvage text.  It was just one of those confusing days that you know things were just being done because and no rhyme or reason behind it.   

*** Complaining about a co worker's personality usually reflects more poorly on you than on the coworker. Don’t make these kinds of conflicts your boss’s problem. Of course, management is interested in problems that jeopardize the company's ability to function. If you have to speak to HR about a problem such as a colleague's threatening, illegal or unethical behavior, keep your tone professional and the focus on work -- not personal issues.  (Never Say This to Your Boss)

March 28, 2012 – Showed Sandy and Rufus the hanging order for the clothes rack.  Wanted to show them that the rack is easy if its hung right.  And that Kathy would like Sherry and I to confirm the hanging before we bring it out.  But if they feel we are not doing our jobs then they need to say something.  Because it’s a process we are still trying to learn.  But like Margie I watched Sandy do some of it then slow down, where the rack stayed on the floor for 2 hours.  But it eventually got done, had to round the women’s short sleeves because they were tight.  Had Elaine and myself redo the window displays, had Elaine check in the music CD’s.  I am staying out of the warehouse because Linda and Gary are back there dishing up a storm.  I went in once and Gary said “here comes Kathy’s lap dog”.  Fine with me don’t really care.  11:20 am furniture dept. noticed the back door of the furniture dept. open and went to investigate.  I notice Rufus first and then Gary coming up the sidewalk.  I asked why is the furniture door open and Gary says, “Because we are taking furniture in dummy”, that is when I noticed the truck pulling up.  But Rufus looks at me and then Gary and I replied that’s fine I will step back and let you get on with it then, excuse me.  So Gary and Rufus proceed to take in the couch but they put it in the middle of the floor and I say we can’t leave it here you know.  Rufus see’s the two TV’s in the area and wonders do we move them.  I told him to check if there is room and they can move.  So he leaves the furniture dept. and checks that out.  Gary is asking me tell him how I want to move things around and then looks me dead in the eyes and says, “you know I don’t even want to speak to you so why are you here.”  I said, “Did you say that to me” and he said “Yes I did”.  Damn now I leave and go call Clara.  I just want out of this mess.  After talking with Clara, she was going to have Kathy call me.  I go back and ask Rufus to come to furniture with me because I didn’t want to deal with Gary alone.  And when I tell Rufus to go ahead and work with Gary to straighten up the furniture dept.  Gary says what’s wrong Mylinh, what do you think I said, and Rufus leaves again and Gary turns to me and says “now prove it, it’s your word against mine”, total asshole.  And now I think he is a total asshole, ruined my day.  Already I am staying out of their way on purpose and now he gets to get away with it.  He’s right and it will be a never ending crap shoot.

March 29, 2012 – Drama yesterday and good day today.  I needed to be in the warehouse today.  I needed to do the shoes.  I needed to be able to work in peace and get the job done.  I knew I was going to be working with Gary and I came up with a brilliant plan.  Move him into the store so I can get my things done.  I had him partnered up with Brian and had them pulling wares.  That solved my problems for the day, yeah me.  That was brilliant of me I think.  I got a lot of shoes done and I even got three buggies of wares out onto the floor.  The truck came and I worked that and everything went well.  I didn’t talk much working with Linda and kept it quiet.  So that was good of me.  Then Denise came in so I had a friendly face and the after Blanca came in it was fun again.  It was the best after that.  Was able to laugh and do the job and work hard like I should be doing and not have to worry about the crap.  Kathy called to check on me.   And I do like that when she does because it makes me feel like someone actually watches out for me.  Sounds so two year old but I just need a boost of confidence again.  But somehow I think these people are crazy because they don’t want me to talk and when I am silent they don’t like it and act up.  So can I win or lose.  Probably not, but I am going to do the job.  I want to get a handle on the wares dept. though.  But I think it will be at least a three day project and then training everyone to keep it right would take another month.  But it was a good day and I accomplished a lot.  Linda did say something at the end of our shift though.  She wants to go to the orientation meeting to, I personally think they are up to something especially since Sherry made that comment about checking with corp. about policy on the racks.  First of all why is the rack suck a big deal?  Does it have to be?  So since Linda heard that does that give her a license to go and put Kathy under the bus?  Pretty crappy if you ask me, if they don’t start trouble for people are they bored or what.  Two days off, yeah me.  Can’t wait to go back to work to find out what changes are made by then.  And what crappy stuff they can come up with next.    

April 1, 2012 – I love Sunday’s and working by myself.  And the good thing is I had a great team around me.  What is fab is Linda S. was a part of that team.  When she isn’t in one of those complaining moods which is quite frequent she is such a pleasant person to work with.  It’s weird that she can actually be enjoyable.  I didn’t or couldn’t accomplish much because of the overwhelming donations we are getting.  But I delegated and had the pulls done.  And used the people I had to accomplish what little I could do and had to apologize for not being able to accomplish the miracle of having the cave done right.  But I love Sundays with the right people, so no drama.

April 2, 2012 – Can you imagine two days in a row being good?  I can until I messed up again.  Or maybe it’s not me but the crap I start.  I didn’t mean to start the crap I really didn’t.  Linda S. again was in a perfect mood, she actually volunteered to help in wares.  I was amazed because every time I wanted her to help in wares or such I would get complaining.  But she once again surprised me and was working in wares when I arrived.  And another surprise was that she was pleasant all day long.  I don’t know sometimes it has you wondering “why”.  But why I say I messed up is that I had asked Kathy why I am not working on the schedule Sunday by myself and she said she messed up and wanted to even tell Sherry to, so to go ahead and ask Sherry if she wanted to use personal time or vacation time and take the day off, so I did.  The look on Sherry’s face was interesting.  And Tammi was in the room counting down her till.  But Sherry said, “I can’t believe she said that because when I knew you wanted to work all Sunday’s I thought for sure I would have Easter off and bought $150.00 in food and told my family I would cook and such and when I saw the schedule I returned all the food and got my money back, had to piss off my family about Sunday.  I then told Kathy what happened I thought you were going to work every Sunday and she said she didn’t want to start that yet.  So now she does this to me and tells me to take it off and use my personal time or vacation time.”  I told her to get the food again and get the family over again and she said never mind.  See I messed up.  Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything to Kathy and start this.  But I want to know that I can be trusted to work Sunday’s by myself and do a good job and seeing Sherry’s name on the schedule I figured I would just ask and see what’s up.  So I hope I am not the one starting the animosity with Kathy and Sherry.  But I messed up I think.  What’s funny about today is that Sherry lost the manager’s gun and we looked everywhere.  After she left I asked Kathy does she want me to check the boxes Sherry was packing because if they get shipped out tomorrow without anyone checking the gun would be gone for sure.  She said “yes” and I found it in the very last box with books all the way at the bottom of the box.  But again I had the most fantastic day.  Hopefully it’s not the calm before the storm.  And dear god I wish Linda S. will stay like this for a long long time.  Just wish the front end would keep up their jobs….like checking the dressing room every hour like they are supposed to.  I wish they would say something to Kathy when they are about to run out of bags and just do their jobs.  WONDERFUL LAST COUPLE OF DAYS…….

April 4, 2012 – Denise calls Lonnie to get me a message that Michelle Bentley is looking for me to speak to me about a promotion, and I am thinking it’s about moving up to the assistant manager position at Apopka.  And I am ready to turn it down, because even though the last couple of days were nice in the store with Linda it’s still not back to normal with Gary.  So I call and the first thing is, “do you want to transfer?”  God yes I do.  I want out of the nightmare, and prove that it’s not me that is causing the problem.  It’s going to be the “Main” and that is the store attached to South OBT Corporate office, never thought about that situation.  I want to have fun and joke and just have fun and I have no idea what I am going to do that close to corporate.  What was explained to me was that I would be a good fit for the “main” where I am not a good fit at Apopka.  I don’t have a problem with “work ethic” but I do have an expectation where I want everyone around me to be up to my level in work ethic and not everyone is.  That now makes sense to me.  It really does make a lot of sense to me.  I do try to work hard and I like to observe my surroundings, plus I like to delegate to everyone.  That way the job gets done and I thought I was good at running a staff.  But I have been having so much trouble here at Apopka to motivate people.  They have an excuse for everything and why it can’t get done.  It just sucks and it’s unnerving to me.  There was other things that got said and how they perceive me.  But I would like the chance.  I am just afraid that I won’t be able to dance around have fun and just do the job and do it well.  So I finish out the week here at Apopka and then I go to South OBT on Monday.

April 8, 2012 – What a great weekend.  See that is why I like the job.  It can go so well and everything runs so smoothly.  Gary and I even worked so well this morning.  And when everyone else came in it was even more fun.  Since we were the chosen to work Easter we made the best of the situation and worked it.  We got a chance to clean up the backroom from Saturday’s donations and take the chance to clean up the store some.  We did end caps and window displays and do the pulls.  I didn’t use the processing section because I put them all out onto the floor to get that done.  The one CSW Bonnie who was here I used her to put the wares and shoes up that we were processing.  That kept her busy and out of my hair from all the complaining she does about the aches and pains she likes to complain about.  So it was a productive day for us and I am very very happy with the things we got done.  Tomorrow is my first day at the “main” and I am praying that it goes well for me.  I just want to work and do the job that I like.  I really really do like it.

April 9, 2012 – Wow what a day.  I didn’t work much just learning the register over there, but that was really simple, meet two women, one if Marilyn and the other is Latoya and they were nice.  Marilyn is more open then Latoya.  The manager is Tanya and she is a little framed woman with such a serious aurora about her.  Her asst. is very serious to.  But it was a good day and fun day.  The part I was at was in “As Is” and it’s a total eye opener.  Tomorrow is another day there, bright and early at 10 am.  I am not used to not doing much.  I am used to doing the cave, donations and such and its crazy that you don’t have to do those things here.  Latoya is popular with the men in the back, which is good to see some flirting going on, Latoya says she is a nymphomaniac and loves penises.  Heard the word “penis”, can you believe that.  It’s quite funny to me the difference between Apopka and the Main.  What got me was the name that Kim handed to me, she said to keep it because I will need it by the end of all this.  When I asked why she said you will know why, because if they do to me what they did to her I will have to get in contact with this person and join the lawsuit and save them all.  The name on the paper was “Judith Nolan”.  Will have to look her up on Facebook and see who this is.  So I was also told don’t get too comfortable because the white management don’t last.  I asked then why is Kim here.  They said she was the token white girl that will kiss the black girls asses.  I really didn’t know if they were joking or not.  So I asked Marilyn some more questions and there is a girl suing Goodwill, to survive don’t micro manage them and stay out of their way and everything will be good.  Hell since I don’t know the job I wouldn’t know how to micro manage them anyway.  And how do you micro manage a very small team that doesn’t seem to do much anyway.  But will write some more tomorrow.

April 10, 2012 – I like the personalities but the work is not hard what so ever.  It’s different from that stand point.  If life for me is the Main and I am going to come here permanently then I have to have more to do.  It’s a strange store to me.  I am out of practice with the lingo and the talking about anything and everything.  Would like a conversation with Tanya about what she expects from me if I do come over but that woman is a little dynamo.  She is never in one place.  I have had some friendly warnings that were vague and mysterious again about Judith Nolan and such.  I am kind of weird-ed out that I am now part of the token “white girl” scenario now.  Am I required to keep my mouth shut and allow them to do their jobs?  Or do I suggest maybe other work that could be done by the three of us.  I still haven’t meet NaNa yet.  Well what is strange is that they talk about this girl pretty badly.   I checked the bathrooms out and let me tell you they were disgusting, and when I asked Latoya where the cleaning supplies were she says don’t try to do any extra work and make us look bad because we aren’t about to do the bathrooms.  They have a bathroom they use in the warehouse and made it understood that they don’t do bathrooms.  Really are you serious, the bathroom was crappy and smelly and I could have done it without expecting them to do it.  As much as I just wrote I liked their personalities, they seem to be laughing at me and telling me that they rule “As Is” and to stay out of their way.  Guess I won’t be doing the bathrooms.  And I won’t be using them, but I am ashamed that we present those bathrooms to the shoppers.  I am kind of stuck behind the register again today.  To learn it, but it is so simple what is there to really learn.  Still waiting on Tanya and to get her to tell me what she expects out of me and what I can add to the “As Is” dept.  Yet the two girls are good at their jobs from what I can see.  So is this my punishment from Apopka.  Good reviews and excellent reviews and just because some people don’t want to have me manage them I am going to be sent here.  I truly need to make it to Sanford when that store opens up.  It will be closer to the college for Patrick; will have to explain that to Tanya whenever we do come face to face.  Marilyn and Latoya seem to like to make fun of me.  Is it out of meanness or fun?  I am praying it is out of fun and not meanness.  I don’t want to start them on me.  They may be nice now but can we all imagine what would happen if I pissed these two girls off.  I cannot believe I just wrote that.  What am I afraid of?  I can do this; I did far more at Apopka and pleased Kathy even though some of the employees there didn’t like me.  I am sure that what they say about the white management not working out here is not the real deal, couldn’t imagine Goodwill allowing that to happen.  It’s supposed to be a good company.  I will say though I haven’t thrown that name on the paper away.  I do have to ask questions though like I am a dummy to learn about this place.  It seems like they enjoy me asking the questions and they are the experts.  So is that a way to get them to know that I want to join in the work.  I dearly hope so.  I am not one of those that enjoy standing around doing absolutely nothing then I won’t be bored, quite different from Apopka.  This is some of the things I learned by asking the questions.  The “As Is” section empties their table from the day before twice a day and reloads the table with new product that comes in those two times.  It’s not new items; it’s the items that the other locations pull at the end of the week.  Like the color of the week might be red, that is 50% off, and the end of the week they go through the whole store and pull that color.  Then they send it to us “As Is” and we put it out to be sold by the pound, which it is sold for 99 cents a pound in our section.  What is amazing is that the Haitians are there to buy for the flea market to sell or to send it back to Haiti, I think.  And they all come early in the morning just too basically stand around and wait for the clothes to come out.  When the clothes are put out and we allow them to go shopping and it’s like the adrenaline rush from hell.  These women go crazy grabbing and grabbing till they find a corner of the store to sort through their things and buy what they want.  It’s a crazy scene, and so much fun to watch.  That’s the only two times that there is excitement in the place.  I am dying of boredom and I want to get my hands on other things, but Marilyn and Latoya go off and do the table changes themselves and I just want to get my hands on it.  What is interesting about today is that I took a walk around the store and guess what I saw in the shoe section.  Apopka had sent in size 15 to 19 shoes for the “Shop Goodwill” site for auction.  But they were on the shoe racks of the Main and I know Kathy is not going to be happy about that for sure.  Those shoes weren’t sold in Apopka because Kathy and Sherry thought they would fetch more on the website.  But they didn’t make it on the website but the racks in the Main for $29.00.  Going to have to stop at Apopka and tell Kathy.  She isn’t going to be happy.  Well this is some more insight to the Main and “As Is”.  So this was a long entry in my day at Goodwill.  I have to learn that they don’t like to be micro managed and really why would I when they do what needs to be done.  Of course they do take a long break and probably a longer lunch.  Well just relax what could go wrong.     

April 12, 2012 -  So I come to the realization that my time at Apopka is done.  I had visited Kathy on the 10^th and told her about her sneakers and how bored I am at the Main.  Well today Michelle Bentley came by to speak to me about the opportunities I would have at the main and such.  I explained to her I feel like it’s a punishment and not the opportunity I wanted.  But Kathy told her about what I said about

 being bored and added the comment “what are we going to do now”.  So my time is up in Apopka, and I am glad for it but scared to death about it also.  I have no idea what I will be able to do in the Main.  They are a well-organized oiled machine.  And I have to start all over again.  But I start there again Monday and I have a week to decide.  Got to figure out what I have to do there and my notch there.

April 16 – 22, 2012 – Well the week was an eye opener to me.  I was told that I would be trained and tested and stuff, plus get more responsibility.  We will see, because I have a week to be here.  What is funny is this, Latoya asked me why the men all flirt with her and I told her because she is pretty and single so of course they were going to flirt.  But to be totally honest it’s those low tops she is wearing in the place.  Those puppies are going to pop out any second.  I had to watch her puppies and make sure they aren’t going to pop out.  Even Tee made a comment about Latoya tops.  What bothers me the most is not the top but the shoes the employees are wearing to work.  I look at people’s feet because of Apopka; I didn’t catch a couple of CSW’s and their footwear and had to send them home after someone else took notice.  These employees do not wear the proper footwear.  And no one seems to notice here.  I did tell NaNa about her footwear and I hope that she doesn’t get mad, but since she is new I thought telling her wouldn’t offend her in anyway.  Oh did I forget that I took a counterfeit 20 on the 16^th.  I was so badly embarrassed.  So I went out and bought a little flashlight to take a look at the bills better.  Hopefully that helps me because my eyes suck if I missed a 20.  It’s the salvage people I know that gave me the 20.  But which one I have no idea.  Really sucks that I missed that, could have sworn that I checked well except that my eyes aren’t as good when it comes to reading the bills.  The little lights are going to help though.  Eddie the AARP worker came up to me on the 16^th and just announced how I was the subject of conversation and that I would have no chance to fit in because of all the “clicks” around here, well at least I was the subject of conversation.  Now let’s see about the news I collected from the Main, they are party girls around here.  They like clubbing and going out with each other and they have their groups that I may never fit into but I have to try.  Now clubbing is out of my league, and I do take all my 15 minutes breaks for cigarettes.  And I have no idea what I am doing here, “As Is” is exciting two times a day and then it’s all non-work.  Toya had an incident when a salvage customer handed her the ticket folded and she pretty much flung it back to the customer and told her to open it herself and hand it to her, the customer opened it and flung it back which made Toya mad and she went off about how that customer is always rude and so on and so on.  It was so disrespectful on Toya’s part.  And how can you blame the customer if Toya started it.  Really not having the ticket unfolded is no big deal is it?  But how do I bring that up to the girl.  How do I correct them and their behavior if they don’t see anything wrong with it?  I have no idea.  I am on next week’s schedule and I never put in a formal request to come to the Main.  I had requested once upon a time to go to Kissimmee and was turned away from that by Kathy, but never the Main.  On my next schedule I am doing all the closings and I am so very very excited about that.  I want to get into the Main so bad; I have to show that I am the work horse I claim to be and get to know the people.  I have learned that booty shorts are always on the subject line and getting me into a dress.  It’s funny I know but they are good girls and I like it here unfortunately for me I guess.  Tanya is funny to.  A strong woman I can learn a lot from if she would stay in one place.  And Tee I find even has a sense of humor.  Marilyn does laugh at me for keeping my hours, but I was ripped off for 4 hours at Apopka and I don’t plan on losing my hours anymore.  So next week will be a great change for me and I relish the stuff I am going to learn that I am not doing right because of Apopka. 

April 24, 2012 -  I find the only two people that I cannot read is Lorraine and Toya.  You can never tell if they are in a good mood or not.  Toya likes to laugh at me, not with me but at me.  It’s a little unnerving and unsettling to me.  I don’t get the inside jokes much so I must sound like a retard.  So I guess I should be made fun of and laughed out.  But Lorraine is hard to read.  I don’t know if I can have fun with her and joke and tell her what I might need or question her when I want to learn something.  Because I did ask her a question about some clothes that look brand new and all the same and I think I was bothering her.  I know I am new but I ask a lot of questions and I am sure that they don’t want to be bothered.  I am scared though that what I need to know isn’t going to come easy.  I feel like I am doing a good job but it’s like the more I want to get into the more resistance I get.  I know for a fact that they take long breaks and leave me by myself and won’t let me do much, but why won’t they?  I ask them, I try to join in the work but they won’t let me.  I get the bits and pieces but not the full picture.  I did get to ask Eddie (I think that is his name) some questions on salvage tickets and that sounded so interesting to me.  So how do I get to see that?  I asked Tee and Kim (the other assistant manager) about the clothes that look brand new and what that is.  It’s “surplus” and bought from other major stores to sell in Goodwill.  So I did learn something new.  I just have to do more, I even suggested that we sweep up before Willamina mops so it will be nice for her to mop and I was told no why should we it’s her job.  What is crazy is that I don’t tell them their job at all.  I ask a lot of question trying to learn and when I suggest more work they shoot it down.  It’s the same here as Apopka in the sense that they say that the Main store makes fun of them because they don’t make “plan” but consider that we sell by the pound and the Main doesn’t.  Tanya wants more shoes out from what I hear.  And that is good because the shoes do go out for $1.99 a pair and would make the bulk of the plan if we did have more.  I find that Toya and Marilyn are a little ruder to the customers in the “As Is” sections.  Actually nothing makes me cringe more than when they belittle a customer.  It’s quite horrendous at points.  It’s strange to me to watch the customers who are friendly and nice getting belittled.  Believe me they don’t act right sometimes but why belittle them.  They are customers and Apopka would never talk to customers like they do sometimes.  I don’t know how to change that because they think it’s okay to do that.  I have had no problem with the customers and they are nice to talk to.  But that has to be figured out in the near future. 

April 25, 2012 – So you know what I like about Kim is that she is cool.  She is a little flaky and adorable, but she is very nice.  Unfortunately when it comes to Marilyn and Toya she acts like she is scared.  Why do I say that, we’ll let me get into that?  I have seen some incidents, but this one happened today and I figured I would write about it.  Of course once again I walked into work not knowing how to read Toya’s mood and if I should step back or go all in.  I missed stepped and heard that Marilyn and Toya wanted to go to lunch together and I wanted to ask if that was okay with Kim.  I did not want Tanya walking into the store and ask where they were and find out they went to lunch together and be in trouble.  So when I asked Kim she said “no” and I needed to put my foot down.  I was the third Key after all.  You know I have to put this out there but I am so damn tired of them reminding me that I am a third key, because I had confidence in my job at Apopka and have lost all that confidence coming here.  Will get into that more because I really need to write what is on my mind about this situation with Kim.  Anyway so I go back to work and again it’s mentioned that it was time for lunch and I asked isn’t Marilyn supposed to go first since she arrived first and Toya says Marilyn has no concern about this and they were probably going to lunch at the same time.  I explained that since I didn’t know if it was alright I asked Kim and she said it wasn’t allowed.  That did not settle well with Toya and even though she didn’t take out her frustration on me, I sure heard all about it though, how everyone else does it and how come all of a sudden they can’t, lots more was said and it wasn’t calming words, and I didn’t like it at all.  I only try so hard to follow the direction I am given.  Yet this is where I get frustrated, you give me an order I follow up on the order yet when Marilyn and Toya went to Kim she backs down and makes me look like a fool and I was making it up.  Well when the ladies came back from lunch I went to Kim and told her that wasn’t fair at all.  I went through that in Apopka and I wasn’t going to do it here to.  I wasn’t going to be reminded that I am a third key and then be put under the bus when I am told to follow the direction they give me.  And these girls aren’t girls that you mess with because it ends up in angry words and screws up the day for me and the work.  Plus I just didn’t want to be put into that situation.  Kim did apology and that was very nice of her.  But yet I had to apology to the girls before things could get back to normal.  Okay I did apology and everything was okay after that.  I just don’t know where my confidence has gone.  I guess it’s time to admit that I might not be made for management with this company.  I have to seriously think about it some.  But it’s okay to eat humble pie not to have the angry girl’s right next to me working.  Because it’s just a little space where only the three of us work and it can be very very uncomfortable.  I wonder though what they have against NaNa.  Because they speak of her being lazy and such and I don’t find that at all.  She does everything I ask her without the arguments and the complaints I won’t be doing that because it’s not part of my job and so on and so on.  She is nice to the customers and just because she is one of those employees that need direction doesn’t make her a bad employee.  They tell me that she goes on her lunch and eats starch.  Right out of a box and eats it.  Strange and kind of weird but I wonder why?  Have to ask….or maybe not.    

April 28, 2012 – It’s a never ending theme around here that when I come in I take one of the girls down usually Marilyn and she goes to the back to work the back room and get things organized or so on and so on.  I don’t know why this happens.  I wonder why I cannot just not get a till and go to work in the back and do the organization.  So today I did get the till and take down Toya this time and then I went to the back and got it organized and pulled up crates and just relaxed some.  I even got to wait on some customers in the Main since their line was around the corner and that was feeling like home to me.  I was so happy and thrilled.  But of course that didn’t make Marilyn or Toya happy at all.  The tension you could have cut it with a knife.  So I again I ate humble pie and backed myself up and allowed them their space and day together.  Only the whole time I have been here I have gotten along with the customers and I had a young lady wanting the purses she heard that might be coming out.  She did ask Marilyn and I jumped in (which I admit was a mistake) and tried to answer her question.  I think she took offense with that and made a snide comment that she didn’t really want to hear it because she used to work for Salvation Army and knows how it goes.  Then she left.  I told Marilyn well that pretty much told me to kiss her petunia (yes I did say petunia), alternative word, Nella taught me that.  That broke the ice some more for the day with Marilyn.  She got a good laugh about it.  She commented how the customers are like that and I will have more and more like that.  I told her I do know that because of my years in the business, but if a customer wants to ask a question you would think they would also like an answer.  But at least the young lady did help break some more of the ice with Marilyn.  So it ended up okay.  I even told the story with Marilyn and the black woman with the false eyelashes from the Main on how I got into some trouble at Apopka, with the kiss my ass comment, and got a little more of the ice broken.  So it ended up a good day to me.

April 29, 2012 – Wow how something like backing up team work can make your day go bad very very quickly.  Such a good mood I was in.  I picked up Esther for work and she could even tell you I was in a good mood.  Yet when Marilyn saw the bins full of hangers and clothes from the Main in the “As Is” she got upset and told me how she was tired of having to move them into the warehouse.  I explained to her that I was told that was where they normally leave the last of the bins because no one was allowed in the warehouse after it was walked through and if they did the door might not get closed properly and then the alarm would be affected.  Thought it was squashed, until Toya got there and Marilyn got into her rant again.  I did interrupt the conversation (not a good thing to do) and told her the reason again.  She took offense that I interrupted the conversation according to Toya a few hours later, and Marilyn said I guess we have different opinions and I basically can shut up.  Well she used a hand gesture that I won’t even allow my own children to do, now what the hell there goes the day.  I went to Tee and confirmed why we leave the bins.  She confirmed it but then it still makes Marilyn my enemy for the day again.  So the minute I come back she is off and running with Toya to do the back and the half of the room.  And you can hear those two talking and how Marilyn has something to get me with, stress and smiling though the crap is really hard to do.  So here comes Tanya and Marilyn is called to the office.  Here we go and I have to get ready to defend myself.  I am then called to the office when Marilyn comes back and says Tanya wants to see me.  Do you know what she told Tanya?  Really I am even amazed by the balls, she told Tanya that I told a customer “to kiss my fuckin ass”.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME……NEVER IN MY LIFE…….AND THAT HURT……THAT PUT ME DOWN FOR MY INTEGRITY FOR TREATING CUSTOMERS…..  Okay calmly I want to say never never never…….I just felt like I couldn’t get to my computer and I know I wrote it out the day before.  I couldn’t believe that she could twist my words to benefit her.  I couldn’t believe telling her team work was important and just move the bins if it’s needed, got her to the point.  Then stupid and idiot me remembered I told the story about Apopka and basically buried myself because she knows what could be used to get me into trouble.  At that point I broke down, because I basically set myself up to fail.  I AM AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                        

April 30, 2012 – Of course now the break schedule won’t work.  Tanya told me to start making a break schedule for “As Is”, which they have never had one made in this section.  When I first started I asked about the “Daily Personal Schedule” and no one knew what I was talking about, so when Tanya told me to start making a break schedule I was speechless.  It felt like I was going to be put into a situation again to make Marilyn and Toya even madder at me then they already are.  And guess what the famous last words, you’re a third key.  I am beginning to hate those words.  I feel like I am the joke of “As Is”.  And let me tell you what it felt like to present that break schedule to Marilyn and Toya.  I felt belittled and made into that joke of a manager.  I don’t know what to do.  It sure in the hell wasn’t followed and when they went on break or lunch they made sure I was belittled even more.  I was called a fat red tomato (I was wearing a red top), made fun of the way I talk in front of the Haitian woman, which hell gave them a good laugh.  It’s just one of those things right to make me feel like the joke and I hate it.  Didn’t speak much today, but with Toya and Marilyn together does it really matter if we speak.  They do enough of that on their own among themselves and talking on the phone with the employees at the main.  Got to sign my write up today for the counterfeit $20.  Guess that was the highlight of the day for me.

May 1, 2012 – Can you really believe that with all the talking I did with my therapist and getting the nerve up all night long that I went to the Corporate Office to speak with the HR Dept. and they were in a meeting.  Can you imagine the nerves I had standing there in the lobby and praying no one would come out and see me standing there asking Laura to see anyone in HR.  Then when I got back into the car I had to take a moment and just breathe.  So it’s back to work tomorrow, yeah me.

May 2, 2012 – Keep quiet, head down, and butterflies in my stomach.  I figured it out today, they are the mean girls I dealt with in middle school.  And I take myself back to those days when I had to hide in the bushes just to survive.  I know that I can be strong and deal with it, and I know that I am a strong person.  But I also know my temper, and I have to keep that in check because that is what they want me to do is react negatively.  I refuse to step to their level.  Shelia helps me so much in giving me encouragement and loving ways to look at things.  She makes me smile.  The customers are another thing that makes me smile.  A couple of them have come up to me and said I am doing a good job.  I wonder why they did that though, and when I asked it’s because they hear what Marilyn and Toya say about me behind my back or when I am not there.  You know what I didn’t write about on the 29^th and that was my breakdown I had in the restroom right in front of Toya.  I was so angry that Marilyn could lie so about my character with the customer that I couldn’t take it when it was constantly playing in my brain.  It was so humiliating to be called to Tanya’s office for that.  She doesn’t know me, so why would she defend my character.  But it was humiliating never less.  I don’t mind the silent treatment or the snickering…..okay I lied it bothers me.  Yet I have to be me and be the manager I worked so hard to be.  I have some news though; I got to close the Main all by myself.  Let me tell you what kind of high that was.  I came home so relaxed and happy.  I was thrilled to have that opportunity.  It was the greatest.  It ran so smoothly.  I was proud of the work the ladies who were with me did.  Let’s see if I can remember all their names, it was Madeline, Esther, Linda, Lorraine, and an AARP worker (the only one I didn’t know her name).  Tina O. was there but she had to leave at 5:30 because she had no babysitter after 6 pm tonight.  It would have gone either way but it was FANTASTIC.  Now back to Shelia a little bit, she doesn’t say “you’re the third key”, she says “keep your head up high, and what they do to you is their personal problem and not yours”.  She should be a manager with her encouragements.  Not that Tanya isn’t a good manager but the warnings that are coming from coworkers you have to watch your back with her also…please god let that not be true.  I just want to do the job and do it well.  And I went from wanting to slit my wrist to doing a good job closing.  So if I can have more days like the end of my day then I will do so well for the company and my self-esteem.  Plus I need Tanya to see my potential and not allow the others to sabotage me.  Going to try to go to Corp. tomorrow again to the HR people and speak with them still.  Oh yeah did I say that I finally asked Marilyn and Toya about the shoe’s today.  Of course they got a little testy about it, no as long as the feet are covered they will not be wearing shoes like me because have I seen what they all wear, why would they have to wear shoes like me.  I told them I thought it was policy to wear no slip shoes and not the slipper shoes they are wearing especially since we move the crates and the shoes I am wearing would be more safe then theirs.  Oh no that won’t be happening because they cannot wear shoes like me or they would quit…….oh please let them.  Sorry couldn’t help that thought and it was only a thought, I did not say that out loud.

May 4, 2012 – “I don’t fit in” that is the excuse I got from Tanya for my termination.  And it wasn’t just from the “Main”, I was terminated from the whole company.  I knew showing up at HR on Tuesday sealed my fate.  I have no write ups, I did not steal one thing from them.  I took their harassment and belittling.  They fired me for “not fitting in”.  Nothing in the handbook says that you are on a 90 day probation period when you do a transfer.  It states you have to be done with your original 90 days in order to go to a new location, nothing about another 90 day probation, so “I don’t fit in” falls into that 90 day probation period.  What is funny is that I told several people about the bullying at Apopka I was from the woman that comes in on Wednesday’s for employment opportunities, to Sherry, Kathy, and Clara, I was getting from Gary and Linda S. and how it felt like I was being targeted because I asked them to work a little bit harder.  And Michelle Bentley told me that maybe it was because of my own work ethic that I expected everyone else to have the same work ethic, which under normal circumstances I would see that, but some of them have needs that I don’t know about and I needed to go somewhere else.  Even though I wanted a transfer I feel like no one took it seriously about Apopka.  So why would I trust anyone but the HR dept. at the “Main”.  But it was my downfall going to the lobby and speaking with Laura, and giving my name.  They can deny it all they want but the bullying I took from the “main” outdid the abuse I took at Apopka.