Daniel Birdsong.....2000

I wrote this in 2000 about Daniel Birdsong in my memory book

There is a lot to say about your father.  But I think there is a lot more to say about me.  I am not here to badmouth your father, because he doesn't know how to be one.  He was military.  I want to say he tried.  But he only tried when I pushed.  Like I said I am writing this while you all are young yet.  It's the year 2000.  Your dad came and went the first time because he didn't know being a father would be demanding.  He said, "he wanted a life."  It made me angry.  How do you get a life with having children?  Your life should be those children.  As you will learn from me I hope.  Your father is or hasn't been in your lives a lot since he was in the military.  And maybe you can't fault him for that.  But if any of you join the military then please remember that family is family.  Your dad is far from perfect just like I am not perfect.  He is a lonely man and will remain lonely if he continues to be the way he is.  You see he never gets anything done in life.  He leaves a lot undone.  And that is not a life to have.  I don't know why he is like this.  But it's a sad state he is in.  We married but I knew it would not last and I truly believe your father thought I had no backbone to raise you kids by myself.  Your father told me once that his parent's hated me because I brought a child into the marriage.  I was stupid enough to believe him.  Then I found out he lied about that.  I don't trust him till this day.  For that and a few other things he tried to do to me.  And I made a life with Lonnie.  Your father is jealous and he cannot tell me he's not, because once again he would be lying.  He wants it so bad but he can't because he goes about it all the wrong way.  I was never in love with him and that hurts him too.  Gary will always be his favorite.  Jason comes in second and Patrick he doesn't know how to please.  Well I think this is enough about your father.  Just be the total opposite.