I was married to Dan for over
ten yrs. and he raised my oldest son like his own, and the other two were
his. He was in the navy but didn't travel overseas but one tour while we
were married, so he was a daddy. He then retired and we were divorced but
he was welcome by Lonnie and I to stay with us until he found a place, because
he wanted to stay in Florida and be near his boys. The beginning of our
divorce was bad, but everything mellowed out and I never denied him access to
the boys. The divorce settlement and child support and 24 hr access to
the kids. No splitting up holidays or anything like that. He took
them out whenever he wanted.
Then comes the new woman. She tells him his children was being raised by a slut and I was uneducated so my kids would probably be uneducated and he was a retired military man and we were beneath him. She even tried to put a restraining order on my kids to stay away from her home. And the judge looked at Dan and asked him is that what he wants done, he said "no". But they wouldn't let it go, my youngest son was over there for a stay and they basically brainwashed this poor child that I was evil and I was a bad mom and he needed to escape me. They took him to HRS and he told them what Dan and his woman brainwashed him into saying. That wasn't even funny and when I got my boy from that house, he was a wreck and crying and apologizing and basically he was a mess. So after that lose for Dan and his woman, Dan turned his back on his children completely. Even though they did this to Patrick he still loved his dad and let me tell you at this point I think anyone in their right mind would have blamed me if I kept my kids out of Dans life, the two oldest told Dan to never speak to them again, but my youngest wanted to see his dad still and such and I hired a lawyer for him to make his dad see him. And that man after thousands of dollars told him "no". And the courts couldn't do anything else....
Now the point to the story -
All of the sudden these last couple of yrs this man came looking for his children, and I believe the two oldest met him half way. Fine. But Dan wants them to help him smooth it over with Patrick, I told them they are not going to do that, and I don't believe I am wrong with that. And I told Patrick he makes that decision and only him, don't do it if he doesn't want to and he has my support if he does. I don't feel guilty about it neither because I saw what it did to him to fight with his father to make the man see him and Dan refused. Till this day Patrick has still chosen not to see his dad. Today Patrick is 20 yrs old, and Dan still till this day has missed out on that boy. I again want to say I DO NOT FEEL GUILTY, but do I step in and make Patrick have a relationship, because if something happened would it make my child hate himself for not having a relationship. He is far from old enough to make the decision, yet I don't know if I should help it along better for Patrick's sake. It doesn't seem to bother him and his two older brothers still have a relationship with their dad, so it works. And by the way the woman that caused this is still in the picture too. But the older boys have nothing really to do with her, their polite but really don't bother with her.
Well that is what I have to chew on now......
Then comes the new woman. She tells him his children was being raised by a slut and I was uneducated so my kids would probably be uneducated and he was a retired military man and we were beneath him. She even tried to put a restraining order on my kids to stay away from her home. And the judge looked at Dan and asked him is that what he wants done, he said "no". But they wouldn't let it go, my youngest son was over there for a stay and they basically brainwashed this poor child that I was evil and I was a bad mom and he needed to escape me. They took him to HRS and he told them what Dan and his woman brainwashed him into saying. That wasn't even funny and when I got my boy from that house, he was a wreck and crying and apologizing and basically he was a mess. So after that lose for Dan and his woman, Dan turned his back on his children completely. Even though they did this to Patrick he still loved his dad and let me tell you at this point I think anyone in their right mind would have blamed me if I kept my kids out of Dans life, the two oldest told Dan to never speak to them again, but my youngest wanted to see his dad still and such and I hired a lawyer for him to make his dad see him. And that man after thousands of dollars told him "no". And the courts couldn't do anything else....
Now the point to the story -
All of the sudden these last couple of yrs this man came looking for his children, and I believe the two oldest met him half way. Fine. But Dan wants them to help him smooth it over with Patrick, I told them they are not going to do that, and I don't believe I am wrong with that. And I told Patrick he makes that decision and only him, don't do it if he doesn't want to and he has my support if he does. I don't feel guilty about it neither because I saw what it did to him to fight with his father to make the man see him and Dan refused. Till this day Patrick has still chosen not to see his dad. Today Patrick is 20 yrs old, and Dan still till this day has missed out on that boy. I again want to say I DO NOT FEEL GUILTY, but do I step in and make Patrick have a relationship, because if something happened would it make my child hate himself for not having a relationship. He is far from old enough to make the decision, yet I don't know if I should help it along better for Patrick's sake. It doesn't seem to bother him and his two older brothers still have a relationship with their dad, so it works. And by the way the woman that caused this is still in the picture too. But the older boys have nothing really to do with her, their polite but really don't bother with her.
Well that is what I have to chew on now......
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