March 1, 2015 at 8:12pm
ARIELLE'S NOTE TO ME:
I am going
to assume your latest FB post are about me/my family. If I am wrong
please correct me. First off I don't have issues with you or your
family, I do have some resentment because of things that were said in
the past. But I am trying to get over them. As far as patrick: we (Gary
and I) agreed to let him live with us so that he could experience a new
state. Make new friends and have something new. If he doesn't want to do
that then who am I to force him. We did agree on him getting a job
within three months of living here and as you can see we have clearly
extended that since he's been here for 7 months and hasn't had a steady
job. We don't need him to pay anything, that isn't the point. It
aggravates me that my husband works 70-80 hours a week and that I work
as well and he is ok playing video games day and night not exactly
putting an effort to find a job. I have never asked him to clean my or
Garys mess. But I have asked him to walk the dogs(which he does do). I
have also asked that we help each other keeping the house clean. Floors
vacuumed and moped things dusted, bathrooms clean.- nothing excessive.
Those things never get done unless I say something. Which to me is like
he's my age, why do I need to say something. If it's dusty, clean it. If
it needs to be vacuumed vacuum it. Never with the intention of having
him as a maid . Just helping each other. I have to tell him, clean your
bathroom, flush your toilet, wash your dish. Things I don't feel I
should have to tell a grown man. His room is always a mess and smells yet I never say anything about that because that is his room. As
far as Gary, he is the messiest person I've ever met but I married him,
his mess is my responsibility and I have never said other wise. I don't
speak much to patrick because he lives in his own world. When he is home
he plays games, in the car he plays games, when we have dinner he
watches games in his phone. He doesn't come downstairs unless there's
food and stays in his room. I'm not going to tell an adult what to do
that its time to put the games down. That's his life. What conversation
do you have with someone who is constantly playing games? Patrick is
very polite he has never talked back to me or told me he won't do it.
But I don't feel I need to tell an adult what to do. I am never home, I
work from 5-6am to 3-4 pm and then go to my parents house because Gary
isn't home and when I am pumping I need help with Titan. I don't see the
need to be home to just watch tv all afternoon and evening. I don't
make an effort with patrick because he doesn't either I don't have time
to baby him or tell him. What to do. I don't feel the need to say get a
job constantly when he should know this. I don't think I am wrong for
any of this. As far as talking to you I can say I haven't made an effort
maybe because we're so different and disagree on so many things I don't
want to make things worse. Maybe because I don't want everything I say
to end up on a blog or in Facebook. Idk I will make an effort to speak
to you more though. As far as patrick I feel he needs to make that
effort.
MY RESPONSE:
AND NO IT WASN'T ABOUT YOU BUT HERE LET'S DO THIS.
I
had a whole response already typed up and let me tell you it was not
good. But as my computer seemed to delete it I am going to take it as a
sign to make this a little bit better. First of all you seem to forget
things my dear daughter in law. How many times did I beg and plead for
Gary to clean up his living area here in my home, i BEGGED YOU TO DO IT
OR MAKE HIM DO IT LIVING IN MY HOME. What did the room look like when
you left my home. The nasty dishes the nasty dirty clothes and my god
the holes in the walls I had to patch up. That room was picture perfect
till my own son GARY TESSINARI moved back in and it became my worst
nightmare. I CONSTANTLY AS THE WOMAN AND THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE HAD TO
SAY SOMETHING. You know what as a woman working and taking care of a
child its a part of life that will never end, "you will constantly be
telling someone to do what needs to be done even if they know it should
be done." I am so over you throwing it out there that you and Gary work
this many hours a week.....do you think I sat on my ass when they were
younger. I worked, I danced in 9 inch heels and worked 80 to 100 hours a
week and still kept a house clean and feed my family with good home
cooking and did the laundry and such and had my children right besides
me learning how to do it themselves. But as you were in my home I STILL
HAD TO BEG AND PLEAD AND CRY TO GET ANYONE TO KEEP THEIR SHIT CLEAN.
And Gary telling me he paid me $200.00 dollars a week he shouldn't have
to do ANYTHING. So let me get this straight, you work and take care of a
child but you have to tell Patrick his room smells like a locker room.
Well welcome to ADULTHOOD AND WOMANHOOD. Men don't just do it. They need to be
told. My grass can be ten feet tall and my 51 year old husband has to
be told to cut it. My Jason who is at home needs to be told to do his
laundry, and I was there last year telling Gary to take his plate to the
sink out of respect for your mom and you. Patrick is used to not
flushing the toilet because here we don't every time we take a PISS or
even have the dot of a shit because of septic problems. So he is
actually in a habit not doing that and filling a septic tank. Well
guess what you have to break him of the habit. You don't speak to
anyone and open your mouth that's on you. And to complain about it I
will accept that even, but let me tell you my friend it will always be
the same complaint. I make Jason his food right now. I make sure I do
it because he is on a diet along with Lonnie but let me tell you I am
only doing it to help him. But he is grown and should be able to do his
dish and wipe the sink or put the lid on the trash can....but just the
other day I had to remind my 51 year old husband and my 25 yr old son to
do just that.
I hated Patrick going there but he wanted the
opportunity to go to school there because they offer more then here.
And where did the three months come from. He isn't a bad rude person
like you said, but like he says have you EVER LET HIM SPEND TIME WITH
HIS NEPHEW, OH GOD FORBID IF YOU DO. But you want to send me a rent
bill then please do. Because all I get is this from you, "we like
having him here "but". Really when I was there your kitchen constantly
had dirty dishes in the sink and I cleaned them with Patrick. I cooked I
cleaned up. But I also cleaned up after you and yours also. I felt so
bad for your mom that my own son just ate and left his plate where they
were, and I said something about it. So I don't want to hear how you
and Gary work 80 hours a week and this and that. You dishonor me and my own husband working many may hours and having
to do it also in my own home. Because your mom was there helping you
maybe you forgot what it takes to be on top of things. Why should
Patrick have to clean up after you both, he should be doing it for his
AREA YES.....but not your area when as you state he doesn't come out of
his room., so you have that much right. I had to tell Patrick if his
room smelled like a locker room and he would clean it. If I asked him
to vacuum he would. If I asked him to scrub and get me a glass of water
he would. ASK HIM AND STOP COMPLAINING, make him a list if you want.
If he plays his game to much why don't you and him go for a damn walk
instead of you going to your parents house every single minute your not
working. He went out with me all the time, he actually enjoyed going
out with your father in the world and riding a bike. But heh you don't
ask him to spend time that is on you also. So what is he suppose to do
but stay in a room and be quiet as a mouse. He helped with Denise's
kids when they were here, if I asked. MEN NEED TO BE ASKED OR TOLD.
It's a part of life. I have guest here right now that have to be told
if I like things a certain way. They do it for me. And I may have to
remind them till they get it but its a part of life. You are not social
and never will be with this part of the family and it wasn't because of
our opinions....they are called opinions because its up to you not to
take them or do. And I don't like the way you are neither but I DAMN
WAY TRY and when you have something to say I am not about to sit back
and not say what I want to.....because as I HAVE STATED THATS IS WHAT
MAKES LIFE INTERESTING. You can't stand the heat then get out of the
kitchen. I have people telling me I am the biggest BITCH, but guess
what that is a compliment to me and my own voice. And I never had a
voice and I do now and I plan on responding. Do u think because you
have my grandson I would bend over backwards in fear you would say he
isn't aloud around me. Well I already know that's how you feel and hell
what can I do about that. I have other people that like to have their children around me. They have to correct me sometimes to but they let me be me.
I
don't have conversations with Jason because I have no idea about his
games. But when I have something to say I say it. He plays his games
so frickin what....is he out robbing people or doing drugs. A game is
the least of the problems. You don't even try to talk to him as you
don't to me. I don't play games, I jsut beg for a phone call every
month or a damn picture sent to me. Do you know what you said when I
said have my son call me. "he works 80 hours a week" REALLY.....I
don't work....I never had worked 80 or more a week?...you insulted me
with that one. And to tell me I post pictures all the time of Titan Rey
on my FB......REALLY......do you....I CAN CHALLENGE YOU TO THAT BECAUSE
YOU DON'T AND AS A GRANDPARENT OR SUPPOSEDLY ONE OF THE GRANDPARENTS I
WOULD LIKE PICS SENT TO ME....and you don't even know what they are for
do you..maybe my FB .... maybe something else i thought would be nice
for Gary and you. And you may not know it but I stick up for you and
Gary about him not finding a job so soon. But I WILL BE THE FIRST ONE
TO SAY I DON'T LIKE THEM PLAYING THEIR GAMES ALL THE TIME.
I
don't care if you have issues with me about what I have said in my blog
and in FB because I like to write it all out or type it all out that is
me and my world. It's life what do you have to hide. Are you wanted or
something? I have my opinions and my loves and dislikes and I am one
to put it all out there and you can KISS MY FAT ASS don't read it. You
obviously like to read my stuff and my opinions if you get so hot and
bothered by it. I will do what I want I am 46 years old and having the
time of my own life right now. I have many friends and many loves and
many disagreements. But I have people that love me JUST FOR ME....they
don't
have to agree but if this response makes you mad oh well I can't
help that I was you once when I thought it was about me all the time.
LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. I have to say your cryptic messages make
me wonder sometimes to. But as your text asked me at 6:30am was it
about you. You should have left it at that for a minute till I answered
you instead of this and now I HAVE TO RESPONE. But I will write what I
want to help my friends or to respond to something and go ahead delete
me as you are all famous for when you get or hot and bothered. I am so
USED TO IT.
You don't talk to me because there are things I
don't now and when you say it you get all squirmy about this and that.
And if you can't stand a woman with opinions then don't talk to
me....WHATEVER.....and you should be used to people having opinions as I
know my son has stronger opinions on things then me. I don't care
Arielle you put the gauntlet down.....don't talk to me...you and Gary
went three years without talking to me. So lets go ahead and start
again. You and your perfect self can just keep it all to yourself and
your right I do make it a part of my life on my blog and FB because what
do I have to hide....NOTHING.......I don't hide the facts about much in
my life like you like to. But that's where you will go wrong in life
to because people will think you are stuck up and mean and hiding
things. Like Gary and Kayti hiding the fact what he was up to....or you
hiding the fact from your own family about things or hiding the fact
you want to be this and that and acting differently in front of your own
family, or what you did in life to please others. I AM NOT PERFECT
DEAR GIRL AND NEITHER ARE YOU....and my opinions count to someone and
the fact that someone can learn from me is a treasure. So put your big
girls pants on and send me a rent bill....and I will pay my debt unlike
some people.....or send my child home so I can have the pleasure of his company and tell him his room
smells like a locker room and smile. You dishonor me for what I have
done for my own children and for them to watch out for each other. And I
will NEVER FORGIVE YOU NEITHER FOR WHAT YOU DID OR WHAT I PERCEIVE YOU
DID TO MAKE MY SON MARRY YOU WITHOUT ME THERE. So I guess we are even.
MyLinh
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