Krystina Tessinari

Hi once again Krystina,

I can't seem to stop thinking about you today and my grandson Titan Rey.  I am in awe that certain things happened today that I can be thankful for and things that I can be sad for.  I am sad for Nikki, your Aunt and her side of the family and maybe they don't believe that since I don't know them all at all but it is sad and no family should ever have to go through something like that.  The world is a loving place but sometimes pure evil can sneak in and just take something precious away from you.  Nothing should be read into this at all except to say that it just makes me sad.  You weren't taken from me, I made that mistake by my own choices in life and I am fighting so hard to make amends.  But one day Krystina one day it will be a pleasure to meet you and to see what a beautiful young lady you have become.

I want you to know if anything at all happens to me and I don't get that chance I am giving it my all.  Even a little response from your step daddy has put a little lightness into my step all day.  It's just so major to me and I find myself thanking anyone that it happened.  I don't know why because it didn't go as I had hoped and there is no compromise with even pictures promised but it was words being exchanged.  If they aren't nice words I don't see it.  Maybe everyone s laughing right now at my silliness of being happy that I got a response and the hidden message behind that response is "go away you stupid ignorant person" but I don't take it that way.  Should I Krystina or should I keep celebrating a response.  I have no idea, I guess i could be a silly middle aged woman, who is fat and overweight and dumb at the same time.  But I take the little things to heart these days.  I guess I am getting old.  Or maybe sentimental since I am leaving Titan to go home tomorrow.

Did I tell you my secret......I am trying to come to terms with my overweight and working out.  Another silly thing that I have come to terms with.  Trying to add another 2 to 5 years to myself.  I lost 30 pounds so far in 3 months and I am so proud of myself.  I don't want to be fat and ugly if you do come around one day but a grandma you can be proud of.  I guess I fight and fight for you to know that someone is fighting for you also.  I won't give up Krystina not ever.  I write Titan Rey to because this will now somehow connect to the both of you.  Plus that little one needs my letters in case something happens to me.  You never know, I get sentimental when you know it can all go away someday and your wishes are dust.

Do you still believe in wishes?  I remember you wishing for things?  You were such a dreamer Krystina, never give that up if you can help it.  Well I end this stupid grandmotherly letter to you.  Wish I could tell you to hug your cousins and Aunt Nikki to and tell them that I was thinking of them today.  I have seen a picture of them recently and I wonder where does the time go.  Be blessed Krystina and keep growing up.

Love you always and forever,
Grandma