Families come in different ways. You have religious and overbearing, quiet and stay out of it, nice and mean, but they all need to blend together somehow someway. Then you have siblings that may be jealous of each other or may be closer then anyone you will ever see. My friend is going through some things, well I have two friends that are going through things and we have discussed it on and off these last couple of days and I wonder what is right and what is wrong. Yet you have three different people that see things and I don't think the answer is a right or wrong answer.
First for my friend that has in-law issues. Its become a blended family and no one should be right or wrong, it should be respect that is given. No one can be wrong or right when it comes to a blended family that has traditions or different ways of doing things. But there should be respect. She has this problem where her mom comes over and says why aren't you doing it this way or why aren't you doing it that way. Yet her mother in law is like this, do it your way because you have to make the mistakes and learn what makes you comfortable and how you want it to be. First of all its about the housecleaning or the cooking we are talking about. If my friend and her husband want to try to make a meatloaf their way why is it going to start a family feud. Because one mother says, "oh but my way is better". Makes my friend feel stupid and inadequate and the husband takes his mother side that the wife should do what she wants to do and the hell with the mother that disagrees. Then the wife and the husband now is fighting because he disrespected her mom. When the husband is only sticking up for his wife. CONFUSING RIGHT!
I personally think you as husband and wife should do what you want in your home and the hell with everyone else. IT'S YOUR HOME. And the parents need to just allow them to do what they want and to come up with their own ideas that work for them. If they burn the meatloaf then whatever they will know better in the future. If you insist that their household should be ran like your household "mom" that isn't right. They are mutual individuals and need to help and support one another. Now my friend who got mad at her husband for taking her side should feel good about that. We don't ever want to disappoint our own moms but dang girl its your house and your cooking. It's just like if your mom (who is the most critical) gets on your husband don't you think you should back him up. Don't yell at the man even if you think he was wrong but explain to him that I understand your mom is more laid back but I was just frustrated because I do want to make my mom happy to. But guess what your mom is going home and you have to love your husband because you actually sleep with him, plan a family with him and such. So GIRLFRIEND of mine make your meatloaf and love your husband and get on with it. It's been two weeks now..........
Second the other friend with the sibling problems. Three siblings all pretty much grown. One sibling living with dad because of drama and is now trying to get a relationship with mom and the other siblings are trying to sabotage it out of JEALOUSY. Really, grow up. Mom's have enough love for all their children, but it's funny you can give the same opportunity to all three kids and the other two take different paths and just because the third does it right and smarter you other two are jealous. REALLY.......how immature and childish. Then you are going to use the grandchild, tell your mom that she won't see the grandchild unless she does what you want. NOW THAT IS EVIL and I would kick that child's ass......LOL. But that's me and the advise I had for my friend was that child must need some reinsurance on the love you have for her for some odd reason and I would sit her down and explain that a mom can love more then one child equal and that you have always been there for her when she needed you and now the other needs a little more and she really does need to stop acting immature. I fight with my kids and I will put it all out there in the world to see, but when they do good I am the most happiest of all. I give them that credit for doing good and I may bring it up their past mistakes which I am bad about I still tell them you are loved you are great and keep it up. This child of my friends must need that for some reason thinking the other sibling that lived with her dad is going to take something away from the relationship with the mom, but never let the grandchild be used. It's just not right. And it's MEAN.
I have my own issues when it comes to blended families right now. I don't know what is going to happen when I go to N Carolina. I am entering into my son and Arielle's home trying to have respect for their home and the way they want to raise their child. I asked about holiday's and stuff from Gary and even if he and Arielle told me they were following the Jehovah way I would have the respect of doing that, if the baby is on a schedule I have to respect that. I may have a different way of holding a baby, I don't expect them to pull the baby out of my hand and say I am doing it all wrong. I don't expect them to make me feel bad about being in their home. I expect to see two parents that work and have a home of their own and work through things together and love each other. I expect to see them stressed and over tired and trying to catch up on things. But I also expect to see the other set of grandparents there supporting them and helping them, and not criticizing them when they are doing good and giving them support even though they may think it's wrong. Arielle and Gary are strong minded individuals and as this blogs shows my son had to learn some communication skills and Arielle had to be strong to help him along with that. But I am the one entering into their world, and I will leave their world to come back to my own. So I do have an escape, and I am not there everyday to see things. Do I like my meatloaf, yes I do, but I will eat anything and if I don't like it I will decline it also. I don't think I had the issue of sibling jealousy and if I did none of my kids showed it to me. So I know what can happen when a grandchild is used though, and I am still waiting for that to be ratified. It's all about the respect of family and the different way's we see things. I always say this blog is how I see things or how I feel about things. You can only read my thoughts and I am pretty honest sometimes and I don't care. Every family lives through things, some want it not to be known and I want to be as real as possible.
So my dear friends think about it, realize that nothing is so simple when it comes to family and siblings and do your best. THEN IF YOUR BEST WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH, GET A DRINK AND SAY THE HELL WITH IT IN MORE COLORFUL WAYS.....
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