Hello Krystina,
I have to say it's been an interesting day. I am getting Patrick ready to move to N. Carolina where he will continue his college in becoming a teacher. Honorable profession that he has chosen don't you think? And I have some exciting news. If you read this blog and the many letters I write to you I finally have a response from Chad. I don't know if I should address him as your daddy or step father but I am just excited he responded to me. This response was something I have waited for in many many years from him. And even if it isn't a response like, "I will speak with you on the phone or you can fly out here to see Krystina", it was something I have to cherish, because it was something. I know you will see the many blogs I have written and I have to say that this has made my day some. He was very polite to me and standing up for you and your mom as a good man should do, but I had to try to ask him about his character because of this quotes he say's he lives by. I don't know if I ever really put forth an attempt on your fathers behalf as much as I put in for my behalf but being here in North Carolina and the talk I have had with your father, Gary, and Arielle and even Arielle's mom everyone can see the difference in Gary. He is learning what it takes to be a good man, and a wonderful husband and a good daddy. He was always a good daddy to you but a horrible man to his woman. Something I have never denied, as his mother. But looking at him now as I said in front of Patrick, his brothers should strive to be Gary now.
When your dad and Arielle left my home in Orlando, I contacted Arielle's parents and said my son wasn't a nice person to their daughter and they listened and Arielle was so very mad at me for that. But she was stronger then most as a woman and handled Gary and brought him home to her parents to teach him what a man should stand for. He learned from his mistakes and learned from her parents. Maybe he didn't get the lessons from Lonnie because sometimes parents can tell you, show you, and fight with you to be good but it takes an outside influence to learn, and I can say as a parent I thank them for the guidance and such. I stayed away didn't speak to them for a couple of years but what I see on this visit is a changed man. I sincerely hope he never goes back to that angry young man he was in the past. But he has so many regrets Krystina, and so much truth to tell you one day, about himself. He knows now he can't justify what he did to your mom, and even if she did things he now knows that was no excuse, because she fought hard to in her own way. I like the response I got from Chad that he' s raising you with "a set of values" as it should be. And that it is your choice when you get older no matter if you are 18 or 30 to seek this side out. I just wish we could heal this stupid rift now and work on it now. But it doesn't look like it's in the cards according to Chad at the moment. But it's weird how I can accept that from him also, because of the stories he has heard from your mom. Your mom isn't wrong to tell him those stories neither, never will she be wrong on that matter, what is funny to me though listening to Gary he see's things differently from what I saw things.
I can look at three different families that I know Krystina and we all raised our children so differently and still the kids can come back and say it was our faults as parents why they were bad. A family that did everything for their kids, and I do mean EVERYTHING, those kids are ungrateful brats that treat their parents with no respect. A family that raised their children in church and with god, and their kids stepped off the path for a while and did the wildest things, but are now coming back into the fold and are trying to be back in the grace of god and have to admit their sins to others to be brought back in the fold some. A family that allowed freedom and fought hard with each other yet their kids turned out in different directions and still come to their parents and said why weren't you tougher on all of us. It's amazing all different upbringings and yet the parents have to take the blame, from their children in order for their children to ratify their behavior. I wonder what you or even Zoe is going to turn out to be. It will be an interesting thing to see.
I have so much to say to you Krystina, but everything I say is how I see things. You can never worry about one sided opinions you really can't. There can be 11 people that see the same thing but tell you 11 different versions on what they saw. It's funny that way how life is. You will remember your upbringing and Zoe will remember it in a total different way. Not because you weren't raised by the same people but because you are two different individuals with two different prospective.
Krystina you are so loved by so many people. Your family there and your family here. It's amazing how many family members you do have. I wonder so many times if you have that little picture book I sent with you when you left with your mom or if she put it away or even threw it away. I wonder what you like to do in life so I can imagine you dancing or reading a book or playing in the snow or learning how to ski or snowboard. I am so satisfied with the pictures I get of you that when I don't see pictures it makes me so crazy and sad. I post them on my facebook and I have a lot of pictures of you. I wonder if you are a good student or a okay student. You probably take after your mom in brains. Your dad has brains but he wasn't a good student at all. You look like him so very much, you are the spitting image of him. I wonder if you have his good mannerism's or his bad mannerisms. I wonder if your have a quick temper like he did or are you a little quiet like your mom when I first met her. I wonder if that hair of yours is trainable or does it still give your mom a run for her money.
Well Krystina I will write you again soon. But I want you to know I will always ask questions on why this can't be fixed. I want you to know that I did appreciate the reply from Chad, and I just hope that I get some more in some way or fashion from either your mom or him. I want you to know that I will never forget the kindness your grandmother Marie has even showed me in the past, but got in trouble for. I just want you to know I fight for you and this side of the family and I will never give that up, I want you to know that you have a wonderful Aunt in Nikki who who show you how to have fun in life and you have to let your cousins know that I keep up with them and their lost to. Things change daily Krystina but the one thing that doesn't change I will beg and plead always for you. Even a picture means so much to me.
Love you Krystina
Grandma
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