Real life can be the hardest thing a person can have to handle....you have to wonder if you are doing the right thing.....family do not live in the same towns no more......they live across the country.....they live on Facebook.....or they live on Twitter......the politicians say they want to bring back family values.......we as humans living in the world find that hard to imagine.....we have gotten to comfortable with the fact that the world is all about work and how much you have.....there is nothing in this century about family and how do we fit it all into our lives......
I am having a moment....my Aunt Louellen is in a hospital right now dying and I can't go there to be with her....because starting a new job doesn't allow me the luxury to do that.......I hate this world sometimes......I love that woman and I want to be there to tell her how much I love that woman.....she is the one to bring me together with my sisters.....and yes maybe one of them doesn't want to speak with me but Ruby and I have a relationship......and Aunt Louellen did that for me.....with Aunt Betty of course who passed several years ago........I want her to know that so much and I hope she does know that......
So you have to wonder if it will be the same when I pass or my own mother......I can say I want to change things........but I know it would be a empty promise......one person can change me and my views and she isn't around to do that.....so I will just have to wonder and think about things and how I can fix things..................
Found out that Kayti got married and she is now Katrina Ratigan......married to Chadwick Ratigan.....I am so thrilled for her......I guess i have to now stop calling her my daughter in law because she is now someone else's wife.......but in my heart she will always be my daughter in law......the mother of my granddaughter and a person that got to escape........I still hate that I can't contact her......want to call so much and I know how and where.....but I am refraining from interrupting her life for my sake.....she has to be the one to come forward and tell me it's okay......and allow me to say I am sorry......got to say that is the hardest thing I am doing is staying out of it......But I am thrilled for her......I PRAY THAT SHE IS HAPPY AND KRYSTINA IS THRILLED TOO......
So I haven't wrote in a little while and what a way to update my blog......I put some of the letters I have written to Krystina back on the blog......it was time to do that.....I needed to clean it up some and put up the letters.....my blog is a little disorganized right now but it doesn't really matter does it.......no it doesn't.....
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