Ashamed????

  Am I ashamed because I talk sometimes like a truck driver, or that I am uneducated.  No, I am not.  The only time I see differences is when higher educated people look down on me and throw their education into my face.  I am happy the way I am, I am honest and truthful as much as I can be and I like who I am, I fight for family and the people I love.  I fought for my children, my husband, Kayti and even Arielle.  I have fought and fought for many in my life.  Sometimes people don't fight for me as hard as I think they should and maybe it's my expectations that can not be meet, because I have high expectations. 

  I still worry about becoming a grandmother again.  I still like to shop at Walmart and finding bargains.  The other set of grandparents may have higher taste in things but I am still that Walmart girl.  Do you know I have to say that Marie never put me down for spoiling my granddaughter, she never said anything bad when I went further or outdid it.  She let me do my thing, at least I don't think she ever said anything bad about it.  I just loved buying for a girl and this was my chance to do it.  But this set of grandparents I worry about.  I am constantly worried about it.  They have more means then I do and can do more.  I don't begrudge them, I just don't want to have them look at me and say what a cheap person to take my daughter to Walmart to buy things for their first grandchild.  Ashamed?  No i am not ashamed, I just like Walmart compared to the mall.  And right now times are still tough and the economy sucks and I just want to visit and see the place my son and his new wife have made a home for themselves.  And to see my second grandchild. 

  So I am not ashamed, I just want to feel comfortable and be me.  I like me, I like the person I am and I don't' care if I don't have education.  I live and work hard, and I try so hard.  But I will have to get over it or drive myself crazy.  But I know me I will still worry about it.  So I will be going to see my new grandchild in June and I can't wait.  It's going to be the highlight of my year.  I just hope I am accepted as me and don't have to be anyone else.