Titan Rey Tessinari

Dearest young Titan,

I don't know if I am to make it out there to see you when you come into this world.  I am again faced with a decision in life that may take that time away from me.  I had a lot of questions on if I wanted to be a grandmother to you and such because of losing my first grandchild to another difficult decision.  I  face  making my marriage work or getting to see you.  I am starting today of the thoughts that I have to sacrifice one for another and it's painful.  I know I can visit in the future but I also know it comes down to time and money for those to happen.  So I guess this blog and these letters will have to be enough for you to get to know your grandmother.  I don't have the luxury to be able to drop anything and go.  I was looking forward to doing that.  Having the house ready for retirement and your grandfather and I can get up and go when ever we wanted.  But again its time spent doing something that doesn't make a heck of a lot of sense.  But its something you have to honor in order to make another happy.  Its all about the sacrifice in life and what you want out of those lives. 

I would make a great grandmother.  I make a great part time grandmother, what I don't make is a great vacation grandmother.  Doesn't make sense I know.   But when you live your life working and working to have a goal at the end of it all and you take a side road, time can get away from you.  Then the next thing you know your ten more years older and you have missed so much.  Well your not even born yet and the letters are going to have to come from my mind onto paper or blog.  I don't have the anything else to give you my lovely young man.  I see you in my mind though.  I see you being the spitting image of your father.  God help you there and the many woman to fall at your feet.  But I see you, and I can't wait till I am introduced to you.  Whatever happens know you have a grandmother out here wanting the time with you also. 

Love you always and forever,

Grandma