Hi Krystina,
Okay if you are reading this one day you will see a lot of letters to you from me......it's all going to be weird for you because you have to be wondering who is this person that has my name all over the internet. Hell the internet may not be called that by the time you turn of age. It's weird I know but I am just a grandmother trying to leave something of herself for a granddaughter. By now you will know that I am a stupid individual that made a chose in life for someone who wanted my backing one time in their life and I ended up screwing myself.....so that makes me a human grandmother and not a ghost of one.
Patrick came to me tonight and told me your mom got in contact with him. Oh my god how happy I was. Even if the message was not encouraging of us making amends it was something.....it was a thrill to have a response. I have been emailing her forever now and no response so for Patrick to get on after many months was wonderful. He is so honest and sincere. He loves you greatly. But with his brother asking the house to make a choice we did. Boy was it the wrong choice. I am at the full blame though and its up to me to keep writing to you to let you know that it was all on me to choose.
So tonight was good news from your mom.....just for her responding made me happy. Anyway back to you. I have seen some recent pictures and my god you and Zoe are getting big. You look like a great big sister. It's cool to see the pictures. Your mom had her Facebook open to me for searches but all of a sudden she locked me out again. Don't know why, I thought by me getting to see pictures of you through her she was allowing me that much at least. But it was wishful thinking, I guess. Thank you god that my other resources know I just want pictures and gets them to me. Not a lot but some. And its good to see you growing up.
I couldn't give your mom her request through Patrick and that was to stop blogging about her. I told Patrick I would if she would call me personally to ask and give me a chance, then it could happen. But I have a couple of people tell me they get a insight of family from my blogs. Don't figure right. My blogs are readable to the public. It's quite funny to me that I am interesting or my family drama is interesting. Or maybe its you little one that is interesting. I am going to have to stop calling you little I think soon. Because in your pictures you aren't so little anymore are you. Did you know that your family is made up of mischievous people? Will have to explain that in future blogs, how we didn't always color inside the lines. The stories I have about the things we all used to do. Some of it not so nice....some of it quite funny. I guess that's what makes me a treasure, I have all the stories. Good thing I have diaries and I backup everything. It will never be lost to you. You might actually enjoy learning about the family and what we did in our lives. Even this dysfunctional family.
Been working, have a job that I do from the house now. Its great. I work 4 - 10 hour shifts. And been cleaning out your grandmothers house. Selling everything. My brother Dominick is in the process of renting out your great grandmothers house. And I am in charge of having a garage sale every weekend. It's been going on for two months now at my friends house. So when I get off at 7:30 am on the weekends we head over to her house to have the garage sale. You would find that your great grandmother is a pack rat. She loved clothes. A lot of people say, "its vintage". I saved some clothes from Vietnam for you. It's what the young ladies wore in Vietnam. And they were made there and everything when your great grandmother was in her 20's. So its all packed up for you. Just another part of your family history. Been settling some things with your great grandmother. The issues she and I have had in the past. She wasn't a easy woman as many might say about me. Except she never says "I am sorry". That's a big difference. Your father is like that. He hates to say "I am sorry". But your great grandmother and myself have been hashing out our problems. Will have to blog some on these things. I think I have done that. You will just have to read the blogs one day.
Everything is being backed up for you Krystina. And everything is being packed away. Heck I even have pictures your mom left here for me to keep safe. She said she would contact me to get them one day when you both left and that never happened. So they are put away also. Of course I used some of them in my home to display. But I thought its been a while since I posted a letter to you. So I figured I would. I love you. Can you PLEASE HURRY AND GROW UP.......be a good sister and lots of love is sent your way.
Love you always and forever,
Your Grandmother
August 17, 2013
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