Blog and Blogging

I found my way into this by accident.  I didn't know if I wanted to write on the internet about my family, issues, or whatever.  I decided I would write about family.  My family is one of those families that have a lot of issues and god its a lot of issues.  But I am just one of those mothers that try to survive raising my family to the best of my abilities.  I have failed in many areas but have succeeded in many more.  I have my own failures and my own issues as does every human being on this earth.  There is a lot of feed back I receive on this blog.   I get feed back from my family constantly.  They don't want their lives out there.  What is the difference from me writing in this blog to them having Facebook.  We know I have issues with my son Gary and his new wife Arielle.  We know that I have issues with not being able to speak or see Krystina's  pictures.  We know that I have issues with my ex husband or Kayti.  We know when I am hurting or when I am sad or when I am happy.  Is it such a big deal.  Really if you think about it if you aren't ashamed of your life you won't have an issue.  My husband Lonnie and two of my sons don't care about the blogging.  Patrick and Jason say "heh, if it helps you to get stuff out then I don't care".  It just seems like the ones that have the problems with me blogging are the ones that I have the issues with.  But we all have to remember that this blog is only how I feel or how I interpret things.  They all have their own minds on how they interpret things and how they feel about things....no two people are going to feel the same about things.  So I do understand that much at least.  As I have stated only one person can make me stop and that person would have to contact me to do that.    

So lets begin on some issues.  I have a issue right now that my ex husband, Daniel W. Birdsong is in the Philippines and married someone so soon after arriving there.  He lived with a woman in Orlando, Florida for many years.  She was the one that tried to put a restraining order on my children and tried to take my youngest son from me.  Well of course she didn't do it alone.  Dan did participate in that.  I believe I have blogged about this in the past.  But he just recently got a chance to come back in his son's lives and then took off to the Philippines to be with this other woman who gave birth to his daughter many many years ago.  Whats funny is he never really looked for his daughter like he gave up being a father to his boys but yet he is forgiven by the boys, and he found his daughter and now is married to his daughters mommy.  I am glad that he is happy and living the way he wants.  But the issue I have is "really Dan."  So many years of ignoring your children all of them and you have a second chance to be with them and you are out again.   Guess it's a man thing.  But of course he is getting up there in age and needs a good Asian woman that will wait on him hand and foot and take care of him in his old age.  What do you think the woman, Karen Wolter, that he left behind in Orlando, Florida is thinking?  Should I take some glee in her being alone after so many years and her participation in ruining a father and sons relationship......secretly "I AM".  Sorry its one of those things.  But I guess I will have to say I am glad for him.  At least the true Asian woman know how to take care of their men.  Unlike me, half American and half Asian.  I was brought up in America so I never learned to be that Asian half to well.  But now if he would just take care of getting his children the health insurance and dental insurance he promised them that would be nice.  One day.......

Another issue I am having is this.  I have one person who expressed to me she would like me to stop blogging.  Of course it's a family member (at least I consider this person a family member).  What I don't get is this.   I get feed back from my family constantly, the ones I have issues with.  They don't want their lives out there.  What is the difference from me writing in this blog to them having Facebook.  We know I have issues with my son Gary and his new wife Arielle.  We know that I have issues with not being able to speak or see Krystina's  pictures.  We know that I have issues with my ex husband or Kayti.  We know when I am hurting or when I am sad or when I am happy.  Is it such a big deal?  Really if you think about it if you aren't ashamed of your life you won't have an issue.  I am not naming the thievery that happened in the many businesses this family may have committed working for others.  Or how one big thievery cost someone else their jobs because it was set up like that.  I am not mentioning that one family member turning in another family member maybe to help that family member.  I am not mentioning the arson family member's did for another family member.  Or the car break in's or the home robberies that were committed, or the forgery's that were committed.  Or the armed robberies that was committed by two family members where they were almost sent to prison for (now Gary's was mentioned) but you should see him now, a chef and living his life, away from me, and we still have issues, especially when it comes to how he treats the woman in his life.  The drug dealing or drug taking.  So really is it such a big deal......LOL.....I guess so.  I would stop and delete this whole blog if I was asked personally.  By the right person I would stop.  But this is life.  This is family.  Its one of those things that you can take it or leave it.  Families have skeletons....some really big skeletons and some things they would like to forget.  But doesn't that all just make us who we are?  Did we do bad things and come out of it to be better people?  I would hope so.  Because this family has a lot of skeletons.  And not just the young generation but the older to.  My mom was no angel.  I was no angel.  And the generation after me is certainly no angel.  Yet we are all working at doing better and that is what makes me smile more then anything, we were bad people but we came out of it.  Each of us is finding happiness in our little corner of the world.  Do we deserve happiness......HELL YES.....do we fight and disagree.....YOU ARE DAMN RIGHT WE DO....but take the good and the bad and do something with it.  Say your "I am sorry's" ..... say "I love you's"..... say "I am not perfect" and get on with it......don't be ashamed or scared.....LIFE IS SHORT.......

So once again I have probably made some family members mad.  But yeah being mad is a feeling I have to.  I just appreciate that someone is reading the blog I have put out.  Its life people and life isn't all full of roses and puppies.......


LOVE TO ALL