Well I had some wonderful news today. No, not about my best friend I think that will many many years in the making but about a job I loved and hoped would turn out well, and it did. I had a couple of people I wanted to share it with and you were on of them. I just feel blessed today. I didn't know what the outcome would be and I am impressed that they did what they said they would and gave me a chance. So that's all I am going to say right now about that.
I had Arielle friend request me on Facebook and I still have a few reservation. There is so many issues that your father and Arielle and myself have to discuss and clear up. Its just one of those things. I think about becoming a grandmother again and I think why do I want to put myself through this all over again. It hurts way to much to have something and then lose it. I congratulated them on them expecting a child but I think and think about it so much already. I can't be disloyal to you and love another fully I am afraid. I was thinking about taking a trip up to their home to iron it all out. But I thought more about that and said I wasn't ready yet for that. Your father does have a way with kind and sweet words and I don't want to be suckered in. But then maybe for once he can mean it and stick to it. He said he would show me he is different so I have to just wait till I see it.
I find people don't understand me well when I blog. I tell everyone this is how I see it and of course they are going to have their own opinion on things. But this is me and my feelings and I am so aloud to have my own feelings. I won't stop having opinions, because its just not me.
I love you and wanted to write you a short note. I feel like one day maybe you will understand me more then anyone else in the family and say to yourself my grandmother was crazy but at least honest on things and what she feels. Now don't get it messed up that honest is the whole story. Because it's never the whole story. There can be a story read by three different people and those three have three different opinions on what they have read. Or they have their own honest opinion on what happened in that situation. This is just me and my opinions on things I have seen or been through or heard.
You have to come up with your own conclusion in life and what you see or read or have gone through. I have seen some recent pictures and you and Zoe have gotten bigger. People that have seen them swear you look like me, but I see your father in you. Poor Kayti {your mom}, she will have her hands full when you are a teenager. I find even though you may not be raised with your father, you may have some of his traits. Its happened with all of your Uncles with me. They weren't raised with their fathers but they have their traits on way or another.
Well little one. I am going to end this with a big old hug from your grandmother. I am the big fat ugly one in the many pictures you will see of me on the internet. I love you and may god have a shield over you and yours.
Love always and forever
Your Gandmother
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| Krystina and Kayti 2013 |
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