Hello my dearest granddaughter
I don't know how to express how much you are loved as all my grandchildren are. I got to know you early in your life and got to love you then but its not the same with Titan. He doesn't know me at all. He came for a visit with Grandma Marie, yes all the grandma's are Marie's....lol....and Titan didn't know me, as you don't know me neither. But I remember you and the times we spent together, the park, the McDonald's trips, and such. How you made me slow down and be a grandma, I loved you were able to do that. I loved your energy and smile and letting you wear your princess dress out for everyone to admire you. I am not a desirable grandmother, I curse a little to much, I tell offensive jokes, and I laugh to hard and love to much. I am just one of those ghetto grandmothers that only has love on her side I guess.
I am sitting here on a Sunday afternoon just writing a letter that I desperately want to mail out and let some people know what I think, and I think it will just end up in my diary to be delivered when I am dead. Just one of those things on why open up a can of worms but hell I am good at opening those worms. Because I think I have a voice and I like it be known, something I heard about you also. Look Krystina I may not be like other grandma's but everyone needs that one inappropriate family member that makes them "shake their heads" because all that straight and proper shit is for the damn birds, heck it's 2015 and Donald Trump is trying to run for president and I am so greatly amused by the idiot, he makes me laugh at some of the things he says. We have a world with terrorism, killing innocent people and so many debates going of being political correctness, but all that correctness is censorship to me. I have many friends, all color and breeds, look at this family, black - white - puerto rican - asain - american indian. I have the world covered in one household. I am tired of religion being what the terrorist use to hide behind. Do you want to know my philosophy is: its that we are all human and its human against humans not a religion, god didn't give us free will for nothing. But when you hide behind a religion to make a statement that is cowardliness. Just say you want to kill because you want to kill, and your a despicable human being. Hitler wanted to kill "jews" because of their race (ethnicity). In Africa, Sudan massacres, again for their ethnicity, and Rwanda killing Hutu because of their ethnicity, so the terrorist now should just say they hate americans and not quote their Qur'an and hide behind that. We had Jonestown, and David Koresh (Branch Davidians) using the bible to hide behind. Its just all a mess, and the world is just so messy. I don't know how you are being raised but I hope you don't hate because of this world, but show love and tolerance. I will not hate Muslims because a few of them are killing us, I will understand that they are just different and the terrorist do not reflect all their beliefs. I am not a Christian or a Jew or a Jehovah Witness or Muslim, I am me and I believe in a god, but they will have to answer to their god or the one god I believe in and I hope they are dealt with forgiveness as I know god is forgiving. But for me to group them together and hate all would be so tiring and unforgiving on my behalf. So try to look at an individual and not a group.
Don't know I guess I am looking at the world and wanted to say this Krystina. This may not be a "love you forever kind of letter" but something in me tells me that I want to pass on something you may want to think about one day. You don't have to have the same beliefs as I do and you may end up with hate in your heart for a group of people but I wanted you to know my prospective.
Life isn't full of rainbows and rose petals we like to think so but it isn't. Its a challenge and uphill battles that is fought everyday. You have your own mind and even though you are young and have to go by the people around you and be taught right from wrong you still have a mind to say, thats not right. And if you take a different road from what everyone else around you says isn't right, you have to be strong enough to make that conviction and to know if you have to backtrack and fix a mistake. We make mistakes Krystina, I can be in a party or a mall and terrorist come in and kill me and everyone around me but I will know that I loved and lived and I will know that I have to answer to my own mistakes to god. Yet I will know that I left behind a legacy. Maybe a fucked up legacy but a legacy no matter what. You are a part of that legacy and my children and anyone else on this earth that I helped to shape in one way or another. These letters to you are a small part of the legacy and one day you will run across them in your everyday life. What am I talking about there will be people delivering this legacy to you in hand in a box. And you can read them burn them or cry for a person who may have wanted to know better. But they are your legacy, and you do with it what you want. Its all on you one day.
Yes, I love you with every fiber in my heart. I love Titan Rey and any other grandchildren that may come along. I wasn't a desirable grandmother and I made MISTAKES, but its on me and for the people around me that didn't take into consideration my love for them and my mistakes were just that mistakes, they will have to answer to their own conscious. So yes Krystina I love you and I will always love you from the day you took your first breath to the day I take my last. Love Krystina and tolerance is important. The world around you may go to shit but as an individual you don't have to be a part of the shit.
Love Grandma
