Krystina L. Tessinari - Big Sister

Dearest Krystina,

Congratulations big sister Krystina.  How beautiful your sister is.  Not as beautiful as you but I am prejudice when it comes to you.  And I always will be.  But another girl for your mommy.  Going to hate it for Chad when you girls grow up.  A house full of girls.  You look beautiful Krystina. All of you look so happy.  Exactly what I wanted for your mom to find. Happiness without the drama.

I don't have a computer so my notes to you have been going into your book or my diaries.  But again I am thrilled to have the opportunity to see pics of you and your family.  Perfect pictures.  You holding your sister and the family your mom has found.  I am sorry for not knowing your sisters name.  Haven't found that out yet.  But she is cute, and a girl, how special.

Life is quiet for me.  Quite enjoyable for me I have to say.  I have
people that love me.  I find that with reflection that I always supported but never really got support from certain people.  So I don't allow myself to be surronded by takers.  I have givers as I give to them.  They encourage me as I encourage them.  We celebrate together when good happens and cry when bad happens.  But they don't just take from me and not give back to me..Through that I know I am loved.

2012 - Krystina and new Sister

Krystina, Kayti, and Chadwick

Grandpa Lonnie had a surprise a few months ago.  The son that was taken from him found him.  And he contacted Lonnie.  Your grandfather is not overly emotional like me.  But he cried, all the years not being able to love someone and that person finds you.  That is a gift of the times. Facebook, blogs, etc.  But sit back and look at what you miss.  I have to say that those little pictures are the greatest source of happiness and the saddest to me.  Years going by....but I have pictures and thats what I wanted the most to see you.  Anyway Lonnie has his son and his son has a daughter about your age.  What fun if they lived here in Florida but they live in Oklahoma.  What is very difficult for me though is that all these
people have girls that are around me and I can't get close to any of them because I feel disloyal to you.  So that is on me once again.  I have the love to give I just won't do it.  It will probably open up to one of these little girls one day....I just won't do it at the moment.

The hardest part is someone to ask about my family and I tell them I have a grand daughter.  Then I cry...can't seem to talk about you and not shed a tear.  But the day will come that I can love you properly.  You slowed me down some Krystina.  I absolutely loved being a grandmother.  I was made to be a grandmother.  I will be again one day, but it will be awhile.

Well you are now a "Big Sister", how happy I am for you.  Beautiful picture of all of you.  Stay sweet, stay beautiful.  Always know there is still a family out here that loves you.  And I cry over the past lost. But I will always pray for a future.


Love you always,

Grandma
1/30/2013