Eulogy for Leonard N. Carter Jr.
October 2, 2016
Our son called me on
10/1/2016 at 8:46pm to tell me his wife helped him find you to only learn you
had passed two years ago. First of all,
I didn’t know he was looking for you, and second I felt bad for him because
obviously he wanted to find you possibly to have his own questions
answered. I have been searching for his half-brother
for a while to no avail. But now we have
leads because the names in your own obituary gave us those leads. Now the common names were going to be hard to
find without knowing their faces, but the one I could find possibly would be
your niece. And the spelling was wrong
and the surname wasn’t there but I found her and then all the puzzles of the
missing people came about.
Leonard I was young
and I loved you as much as a young woman could love someone but you were in
love with another. I didn’t know the way
around love and strong love and I so tried to have you love me. But I know that I took my heart and handed it
to you and it never stuck and your heart wasn’t meant for me. I am good, I know the last time we spoke you
asked me that and I want you to know I am good.
I love Lonnie and he is so good to me.
We had closure that last conversation, you learned you had MS and
answered my questions about why you never wanted to meet Gary and allow him to
meet you. I remember that one day you
did drive up to the Denny’s but didn’t get out of the car and said hello to
Gary gave him an excuse why you wouldn’t get out of the car and drove
away. I remember you were a mystery to
me and when I became pregnant you ignored me and then Gary was born and he
looked like you. I remember you didn’t
want to help me with Gary’s medicine telling me he wasn’t yours and I remember
being so hurt and then mad that now I was just going to prove you wrong. Got the DNA and got the child support and you
paid it faithfully.
I don’t know Leonard
if you shared Gary’s existence to any family members but our son wants to know
someone just to find out more about your side of the family. I can’t blame him it’s a natural progress to
know from whom are you a part of, how did I get this trait, or why am I like
this. He looks like your son, Leonard Carter "Lenny" and his
Uncle Michael. I hope your family wants
to know him and doesn’t pretend he doesn’t exist, like your mom did to me that
one and only phone call I had with her.
They looked like god fearing family and I don’t pretend to know about
god and what he would want but I think they may reach out and at least
acknowledge him. Please cheer him on
from where you are at. Please watch out
for him on this journey he is going on.
I don’t know if you thought about him in any way over the years, this beautiful
child that was brought into the world.
But I now know Gary thought of you, he acted tough and said, oh well,
but I guess curiosity has taken root if he went on his own search. He has a wonderful step father in Lonnie and
Dan wasn’t too bad but he abandoned them for a woman, Gary called to make sure
Lonnie knew this search wasn’t a reflection on him. Gary doesn’t call home much he has his own
family to tend to but I miss him a lot.
He works hard and has accomplished so much.
I thought of you a
lot over the years but I knew we would not meet again after that last
conversation. You had a fight on your
hands with MS and I had a life to lead and my own children to raise. I had the closure so this little good bye
letter isn’t mean or wanting to get my hurt out. I loved you and will always love you and I
hope that you are at peace. Thank you
for giving me Gary Matthew Tessinari.
Love MyLinh
